Cert site takes a fall, Dell announces recall

That hissing sound coming from Cupertino is Steve Jobs’ blood pressure hitting high boil. Not just from the options scandal that suddenly went from “insignificant” to “please stand by while we restate four years worth of earnings.” I’m talking about the Leopard OS appearing on BitTorrent networks after Apple distributed betas at its Worldwide Developers Conference. This time Apple implanted GPS chips in the bodies of attendees as they slept so they could find the miscreants. I hear they also stole developers’ kidneys and sold them on the black market. 

Hot or Not? The folks at Hotexam.com probably aren’t having a hot time right now. A few days after my blurb on the bogus certification site appeared, it was shut down by testing service Pearson VUE. Hotexam and its ilk are related to a Taiwan-based “braindumping” gang, four of whose members were arrested back in 2004, says Mark Poole, VUE security wonk. Poole says anybody who signs up with one of these “no-study” cert services should have their skulls probed for signs of intelligent life. “Why would you give your personal information and credit card info to a scammer in China?” he asks. “Some people are so stupid it must hurt.”

Definitely Hot. Dell is recalling 4.1 million laptop batteries — the largest recall in consumer electronics history — due to their unfortunate habit of doubling as incendiary devices. Apparently users did not appreciate the Inspiron’s new “Flame Broil” feature. To be fair, Apple, Sony, and Hewlett-Packard have sold (and recalled) their share of hot-to-trot laptops. However, HP says it “fully stands behind” its battery technology — a safe distance behind, I’d wager.

Definitely Not. Windows Vista beta tester Steve B. was having trouble getting Internet Explorer 7 beta to work with Vista’s Outlook Web Access, so he contacted the Vista support team for help. Their solution? Use Firefox or Opera instead. “As an OWA user, I fully understand the frustration you have experienced,” the techie wrote back. Memo to Ballmer: When your own support people turn against you, don’t you think it’s time for a change?  

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