From the big chair to the big house in one easy step With nearly $92 billion in annual revenues, Hewlett-Packard is now the world’s biggest IT company, surpassing IBM by about a billion and change. Apparently all those spy shenanigans didn’t keep enterprise customers from following the HP way. I understand at HP HQ they’re lighting their victory cigars with pages torn from autographed copies of Carly Fiorina’s Tough Choices.Prison break: Computer Associates spent nearly $15 million defending former CEO Sanjay Kumar, and now it wants a refund. CA is trying to get its hands on the guilty exec’s $9 million dollar home, yacht, two Ferraris, Land Rover, Volvo, and various bank accounts. Next February Kumar begins a 12-year stretch in a Club Fed minimum security prison for his role in the $2.2 billion accounting scandal. Looks like he may have to call a cab to get there.You’ve been crammed! Are there gremlins in the AOL billing system or is something fouler afoot? Cringester Rob M. recently checked his credit statements and found 10 months’ worth of phantom AOL charges. Rob was promised a prompt refund, but scores of other Netizens in the same boat haven’t been so lucky. Along with a new CEO , maybe AOL needs a new marketing slogan. “AOL: Free — and worth every penny.” Don’t ask, don’t Dell: A Cringester who prefers anonymity says he ordered multiple copies of Microsoft Office 2007 media from Dell, only to have the order mysteriously cancelled a few days later. His salesperson claimed Microsoft had deactivated volume licensing for the new suite. (Microsoft’s response? Go ask Dell.) Apparently, certain licensees can download Office ‘07 now but must wait until January for discs. Looks like the rollout is going as planned — in every single direction at once.Hold the jelly An internal Yahoo memo (titled the “Peanut Butter Manifesto”) leaked to the press urges the company to cut 20 percent of its workforce. Yahoo declined to comment on the memo, but denied rumors it planned to notify cashiered employees by shooting them with tasers.Send your hot tips or layoff rumors to cringe@infoworld.com and you may receive a taser-proof bag suitable for covering your assets. Software Development