Microsoft smacked, CI Host attacked

Last week’s call for the most despised tech companies inspired a quorum of (un)worthy candidates, including NAI, Symantec, and HP, to name a few. But judging by this week’s tips, Microsoft is clearly the company Cringesters love to hate.

The One-Percent Solution: The European Commission’s decision to fine Microsoft $613 million — roughly 1 percent of its $50 billion cash reserve — is apparently causing serious hardships at the Redmond campus. According to some reports, there’s no more caviar in the company cafeteria, and Bill G. is now hand washing his own sweaters. The misunderstood monopoly may also be forced to surgically remove its media player from copies of Windows sold across the pond. Hey, it could have been worse. I understand the EC originally wanted Microsoft to destroy all copies of the Steve Ballmer Monkey Boy Dance video.

Spelling the Beans: Seems the Feds are fed up with Microsoft too, judging by the open source GPL found on the Workforce Connections site, a joint project of the Department of Defense (DoD) and the Department of Labor (DoL). But with contracts to supply the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and other three-letter agencies (TLAs), Microsoft will probably be AOK.

Witty Retorts: Customers of Dallas-based CI Host were none too pleased when they tried to log on and discovered their host was toast. The Witty worm had its way with the company’s BlackIce firewall last week, leaving thousands of CI resellers with their Web, e-mail, and pants down for up to five days. Spokes-poke D. Kent Pingel says the company (which boasts a “99.9 percent uptime” guarantee ) will offer a 400 percent credit to the afflicted. Let’s hope that’s enough to ward off a Texas-sized lawsuit.

Rated X: Earlier this week You-Know-Who issued a press release for Xbox, accompanied by a photo of Net download queen Paris Hilton. (At first I didn’t recognize her with clothes on.) The release touts the company’s new emphasis on family-oriented titles. Perhaps they were just talking about the Hilton family.

Send your hot tips to cringe@infoworld.com. The best will win $50 or a date with Paris Hilton, whichever’s cheaper.