You call that spam? I know spammers are usually a few transistors short of a full circuit, but lately it seems like they’ve become even more addled. During the past week, I’ve been buried with spam for (ahem) personal enhancement pills from senders with names like Hiatus Q. Emotive, Undulations L. Sharlene, and Lapwing T. Buttocks. I’m starting to miss the good old days when spammers went to some effort to fool you into reading their junk. Now they act like they just don’t care.Your mother was a MyDoom and your father smelt of Sobig: Anti-virus vendor BitDefender got a bit peeved when a routine Google search for “bitdefender” turned up an ad for McAfee claiming to “Remove Bitdefender Virus.” McAfee says the culprit was one of its affiliates, which apparently mistook the name of the Bucharest-based company for the name of a virus it had discovered. McAfee apologized and had the affiliate pull the ad before BitDefender could get medieval on their assets.Hit me with your best shot: While walking the floor this week at Big Apple trade show TechXNY, Cringester Zachary P. reports sparse attendance except at the Johnnie Walker Black exhibit, where overflow crowds were queuing up for a 20-minute sampling session. What’s a Scotch maker doing at a tech expo? Humanitarian aid. With flu shots suddenly in scarce supply, Johnnie wants to make sure that geeks get a shot of something medicinal. Don’t forget to invite your cousin Void: Cringe fan Leslie S. says she recently received an e-mail invitation to a Webinar hosted by “quality optimization” company Segue that began “Dear NULL.” It’s that personal touch that makes all the difference.Silent but deadly: My blurb about Microsoft’s India support techs reminded Cringester Bill F. of the time he called Gateway support and spoke with an Indian tech named “Buster.” When he asked for Buster’s last name, the tech replied “Keaton.” Gateway says it no longer uses that contractor — or any company based in India — to provide support. Too bad. I was hoping to talk to its crack team of level-two techs: Groucho, Harpo, and Chico.Got hot tips or especially stupid spam tricks? Send ’em to cringe@infoworld.com, and you may take home a stylin’ bag. SecurityMalware