Geeky gossipmonger likes saucy barbecue So I went to the BBQ at the “Q” gal’s pad last week. I came prepared with a dark and savory quail plus tales about my dark and unsavory past. Chicks just eat that stuff up. Well, it worked. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say there were fireworks after the barbeque.Eats, Shoots, and Leaves: Cringester Les C. warns readers to beware of hungry Pandas. When he installed the latest antivirus update for Panda Software’s BusinesSecure with TruPrevent 3.05, it ate the Notepad.exe files on all his desktops. Panda CTO Patrick Hinojosa admits a bug caused the program to swallow Notepad, but says the problem was quickly fixed. Me, I always thought a Panda eats shoots and leaves. I must be watching the wrong nature shows.Relevant Schmelevant: When not busy settling antitrust lawsuits, el Microsoft jefe Steve Ballmer has vowed to attack Google head on. “Search is where they are making their stand, so we will fight them there,” he said. Oh sorry, I’m confusing him with someone else. What he really said was, “In the next six months, we’ll catch Google in terms of relevancy.” They’ve already caught up in one way, at least: In the past few years, “Google” has become a verb, while “Microsoft” has become a different kind of word, though you might not want to use it in polite company. I’m an Idiot, and I Vote: New York State Assemblyman Willis Stephens was just a wee bit embarrassed after he accidentally sent an e-mail to 300 of his constituents calling them all “idiots.” Then again, he might be right — they did elect him.Small Change: Microsoft and IBM have buried the hatchet over a lawsuit filed back in the Jurassic period over alleged discriminatory pricing, overcharging, and OS/2. Big Blue’s haul from the settlement was $775 million, plus a coupon worth $75 million at its local Microsoft store. I understand Gates was planning to pay the settlement out of his own pocket but he didn’t have anything that small.Got hot tips or change for a $48 billion Bill? Send them to cringe@infoworld.com, and you may receive a snazzy yellow bag to stuff it in. SecurityMalware