Teleworkers must establish a clear boundary around their home offices to maintain their work/life balance Dear Bob …I telework. I’ve set up a professional office in our former den. I have a broadband connection, VPN and Citrix access to my employer’s systems, a separate telephone line, a filing cabinet — everything I’m supposed to need to make this work.[ Also on InfoWorld: “Should telecommuting be viewed as a company strategy or an employee privilege?” | Get sage advice on IT careers and management from Bob Lewis in InfoWorld’s Advice Line newsletter. ] The technology works fine. It accomplishes everything except the one thing I need most. That’s for my wife to understand that just because I’m under the same roof she is, that doesn’t mean I’m available whenever she is in the mood to talk, wants to start a household project, needs me to look after our kids (5, 7 and 8), or thinks the grass needs cutting.The situation has caused problems for me at work, because my wife has walked in while I’m on a teleconference and just starts talking. I’m getting adept at hitting the Mute button quickly, but it isn’t always quickly enough, and even then, it’s obvious to everyone else on the call that I miss whole segments of conversation.And because she comes in whenever she feels like it, my kids have started to do the same thing. My wife has never worked outside the home, except for waiting tables part-time while in college, so she doesn’t truly understand what an office environment is like. I just wish she’d take my word for it when I try to explain the situation.Instead, she gets mad or, even worse, gets hurt.Any suggestions? – Remote Dear Remote … What are you, nuts? More to the point, what do you think, I’m nuts? This is marriage-counselor territory, not Advice Line territory. The marriage counselors and I have a deal. I don’t try to save marriages; they don’t try to save IT departments. So far, this division of labor has worked pretty well; thus far, I haven’t ruined anyone’s marriage — at least, not to the best of my knowledge.Not that I’m making light of your dilemma. It’s a tough one, and one you share with a lot of other teleworkers.The best time to stop this problem is before it begins: when you decide to telework but before you actually start to do it. That’s when you should’ve sat down with your wife and said, “If we’re going to do this, there’s only one way for us to do it, and that’s to treat my office in the house exactly the way we’re used to treating my office downtown. When I’m there, I’m at work. Just because my office has moved to a different address that happens to be this address, that can’t change. I know we’ll both be tempted to soften the boundary, but we can’t because once we start, there’s no end to it.” Your boundary is already soft — permeable, in fact. Restoring it really will require marriage counseling or at least some difficult conversations. Marriage counselors are good at helping these along.In the meantime, there is one thing you might be able to do to improve things without creating conflict on the home front, and that’s to ask for understanding when you’re on the phone. If you limit your conversation to that one subject instead of trying to establish the work/home boundary, you can probably help your wife understand that interruptions while you’re on the phone make you appear unprofessional.Assuming she does understand and agree to this, make yourself a “Do Not Disturb – On the Phone” sign you can put outside your door. Now comes the hard part: You have to resist the temptation to leave it there after a call is over. If you do, and you get caught at it, you’re done for.– Bob Technology Industry