There will be winners and losers. Sometimes.

Here’s mom-and-apple-pie post, but hey, just because your mom said it doesn’t mean it’s not worth thinking about. That said, if you’re feeling particularly troll-ish today, just move along. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

When resolving a difference or conflict between one or more people we are taught, from a very early stage, to look at winners and losers.

Sometimes, but not always.

There doesn’t always have to be winners and losers. Sometimes it is the case that viewpoints are so vastly separated and so fundamentally held that someone must win and someone else must lose. But it often happens that you can find a path through a conflict or difference in opinion where everyone benefits and some useful change still happens.

The way that this happens in practice will vary from situation to situation, not least because the people and organizations involved will come to conflict with different interests. But let’s look at an example that a new leader might face and see if we can’t make this a little more concrete.

An example: Dick and Jane hate each other and you

Let’s say that you have two employees fighting over the same piece of a choice new project. Tom wants it because he’s always gotten that work, and Susan wants it because she’s never done work at that level and wants a shot at advancement.

There are lots of ways for both of these folks to win. You could give the work to Susan as part of her development and task Tom with training her to do it as part of his development path to more senior duties—now both people stand to be promoted by the same project, and both people get to grow. Another option: can you take this project a step further than you’ve ever taken this kind of work by using Tom’s expertise to grow a new area and backfilling his role with Susan?

Not every situation will reduce to such nicely wrapped packages, but this is about a point of view and establishing a pattern of behavior. Try to achieve these goals all the time, but be realistic and acknowledge you’re only going to make it some of the time.

Leaders create environments

One of the chief things to remember when you are developing your leadership skills is that leaders create environments. The other thing to remember is that you are responsible for the kind of environment you create (whether you take that responsibility and act on it is up to you). The kind of environment I try to create for the people I work with is an environment where we look for ways for everyone to succeed.

I believe—and to some extent this topic is fuzzy and therefore deserves the word “believe”— there is enough room for everyone to be successful and happy. These quantities do not obey conservation laws—they can be created without end. They can also be destroyed without end if you don’t seek opportunities for everyone to benefit from daily situations. When you look for ways for everyone to benefit, then most of the time everyone involved will look forward to working with you again and you’ll be creating a feedback loop that will drive future, unexpected successes.

Take every opportunity to move a situation forward in a way that benefits all parties involved, and you’ll be creating an environment where you can be genuinely surprised by your success.

This post is inspired by material in my book, The Only Trait of a Leader.