Listen and learn

Most people you’ll meet have something to say that’s worth hearing.

Most of the success I have in dealing with people is in helping them feel as if they have a meaningful role to play in what is going on around them. People in all situations feel valued when they feel they have impact or influence on their surroundings. I do this by listening to them, acting on the good ideas people share with me, and giving them the credit.

You can’t possibly have all the good ideas

Before I make a decision about a change in some process or procedure, I talk to the people who will be affected by that decision. What do they think the problem is? How would they solve it? Does my proposed solution address their concerns? If not, how can we move toward the common goal in a way that leaves them more comfortable? What am I missing?

No matter what your position is—the CEO or the janitor—you are only one person. Your ideas have holes in them. Solicit the input of other people.

Getting good input from others

When you are exercising this skill, don’t present your solution first and ask for their input. Try to lead them through a collaborative discussion that focuses on how they view the situation and what possible solutions might be.

Rather than saying “So, the OS patch process is broken. I think we should do X”, say something like “I’ve been looking at the OS patch process lately. It seems like we could be getting more done here. What do you think? Can you think of a way to improve it?”

If you do have a solution already that seems to be more complete than what your partner has come up with, slowly work your solution into the conversation, and get feedback. When you come up with needs that haven’t been addressed, ask for input in modifying your proposal from those most affected and from those who will have to implement the change.

The benefits

I invariably learn something new about the situation, and often this new knowledge results in changes to my own plan. With a solution that more completely addresses the problem, the organization benefits more quickly from my action.

The people affected (“stakeholders” if you’re a business consultant) get visibility into my decision-making process, and by so doing receive a little mentoring in the process. They also get to contribute their voice to the situation, and often they get to see their ideas incorporated into the solution. When the decision is finally made and the change enacted, they support it more fully because they feel that they were a part of the decision.

The strength of your solutions will increase ten-fold, and the strength of your implementations will increase exponentially as all the stakeholders feel connected to and responsible for the solution.

And it works for people, not just projects

This approach works as well on people as it does on projects and products.

If you are experiencing a personality conflict with someone on your team, or if you are mediating a conflict between others, listen to other points of view first. Ask questions and probe for explanations before you hand out punishments or impose a solution.

You will be surprised at how complicated “simple” situations really are: people conflicts are almost never about what they’re about. No one is really fighting over who does or doesn’t make coffee in the morning. The fight is really about one employee’s perception that another one isn’t pulling his weight on important projects, or whatever.

But you won’t find out if you don’t listen first.

This post is inspired by material in my book, The Only Trait of a Leader.