Why you need mentors

If you talk to successful people in any walk of life and ask them how they became successful, almost all of them will include the contributions of one or more mentors in their list. One of the best ways to develop, to learn, or to do anything new is to work closely with someone who already has what you want and who is willing to help you achieve your goals: a mentor.

The tale of a young lad

Starting in college, one of the first people I recognize as having served as a mentor was one of my Electrical Engineering professors, Dr. Nail.

In the first year of my EE classes I had a very difficult time; Dr. Nail’s class was one with which I had special difficulty. This was extraordinarily disconcerting to me, because I graduated from high school with a 4.0 grade point average, and because this was the classic “weed out” class in EE. About halfway through the semester, I got desperate, and started hunting down Dr. Nail after class for extended help with the material. My technical abilities were slow to improve, despite the intense one-on-one teaching sessions.

As the semester wore on I became depressed and disillusioned, and contemplated changing my major. Dr. Nail wouldn’t hear of it. He (and my dad) encouraged me to stick it out; they both told me I would get it eventually, and I stuck with it.

I got a C in his class—which pride compels me to tell you was my only C, that year or ever. The fall semester had more weed-out courses, and I was still struggling—and struggling nearly as hard. In the spring, though, the switch flipped. I passed some threshold in my learning, and suddenly everything started making sense. In retrospect what happened was that I had learned to think like an engineer.

What Dr. Nail did for me

That semester was one of the most difficult times of my life. It was my first real challenge, and I didn’t exactly sparkle. Since then I have had a very rewarding career, and have gotten to do many things alongside brilliant and fascinating people.

None of it would have been possible, however, without the mentorship of Bert Nail. He never handed me a solution. I still struggled, even with his help. But he kept me in the game, believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, and bought me just enough

time to get over the hump. That’s the power of having a mentor.

What a mentor can do for you

In every case my mentors have pulled my focus up from the work at hand to see the big picture, and your mentors can do the same for you. They were on a different plane, and after spending time talking with and listening to them, I was able to pull myself up to that plane.

Some of my mentors have been technologists, some managers, and some non-technical people. My wife has been a mentor to me for almost twenty years. A few have been impressive leaders of large organizations, known throughout their fields. Most have been just regular folks who had been there before and wanted to share their experiences with someone who wanted to learn.

Finding your own mentors

And that is the key to finding a mentor. In fact, I’ve never really “found”, as in set-out-for-and-tracked-down, a mentor.

An attitude of curiosity and an eagerness to learn from anyone who was willing to share lured mentors to me, and it will work for you as well. Whatever the reason, people who have already been down the road you are just starting on will want to see you avoid the hurdles they encountered, or at least they’ll want to help you handle them better than they did at the time.

Although it may sound a little odd, all of your mentors won’t be people. You may find a lesson in an encounter with nature, or in a car accident. You may find mentorship in relationships with superiors and subordinates. You may find mentorship in an experience, like raising a child or overcoming an injury or disability. And you may find mentorship in books, articles, movies, or lectures. Learn from them all.

Decide that you want to learn, start asking questions, and listen to the answers. At that point your mentors will find you.

This post is inspired by material in my book, The Only Trait of a Leader.