Bait and switch IT

My company, U, acquired another company, V. The entire IT department at V was outsourced to Company TLA (Three Letter Acronym). In the process of trying to discoveri the extent of the network we had recently acquired, we asked TLA reps for diagrams and any other relevant information such as network size, IP addresses, and numbers of PC desktops.

Let’s just say that my dog leaves more legible information on a fire hydrant than what we got from the TLA people. Most of the diagrams looked more like a game of pick-up-sticks than networking. I was unaware you could cross that many lines in one drawing or that you could intentionally loop traffic through a firewall more than once. We decided they were either brilliant geniuses or blooming morons. You can guess which camp I put them in.

One particular site was particularly sparse on information. When we asked for additional material, we were told an investigation would be required. Several days, even a week passed before we got the results back. The diagrams and information were minimally improved but it came with a nice cover letter detailing the deficiencies of this site and how it was not up to Company V’s high standards. TLA graciously noted that all of this could be corrected and they could upgrade it, per the attached quote, for a mere $250 billetes grande.

You see, Company V had been for sale long enough that V’s mahogany row types had decided not to invest any additional dollars in infrastructure. TLA could feel the profit draining out of this contract and, like any self-preserving leech, was on the prowl for a fresh source of liquid assets.

Needless to say, TLA’s services at Company V are numbered — literally. We have a monitor in a prominent place with a countdown timer ticking off the minutes until we can finally remove these parasites from our wallets. I’m sure I’ll have another submission to Off the Record before that happens, though.