One reader's attempt to yodel globally encounters frustrating hardware problems and callous support Dear Gripe Line, The moment I saw the trailer [below] for Microsoft’s Xbox Alpine Legend game I knew we had to have it. Our family has roots to the Alps going back a dozen generations (I am third cousin on my mother’s side to Maria Von Trapp of “Sound of Music” fame), and I was gratified to see that a console maker had finally gotten around to honoring our family traditions. I ordered the whole kit — game title, Tri-horn, hat and Lederhosen — express shipped overnight. Since then, though, we’ve had nothing but problems. First, the wireless dongle for the Alpine Tri-Horn simply didn’t work, so I had to use a standard USB connection. The cable was actually shorter than the Tri-horn, so I kept knocking over the lamp everytime I moved. That was frustrating. But it only got worse from there. The German-to-English translation is spotty at best. The virtual Oompah Band plug-in comes with only five songs (and “Unter Dem Doppleadler” wasn’t one of them); to add more I have to buy them — at 240 credits each! — from the Xbox Live store. And when I called Xbox tech support (several times) to complain, they laughed at me and hung up. I’ve never been so rudely treated by customer service. Can you help? All I want to do is yodel with my homies. Thanks in advance, Von Trippy [ April Fool’s! Read more of InfoWorld’s April Foolery. ] Technology Industry