Dear Bob ... I'm the CIO of a medium-sized company - to give you some idea, the IT department numbers about 100 and we have about 2,500 employes in total. I'm also a woman, and while I dislike bringing gender into the discussion, I'm starting to think it's unavoidable. Here's why: The CEO has six executives on his senior staff team. The other five are men. Putting it charitably, I find them far too relaxed and u Dear Bob …I’m the CIO of a medium-sized company – to give you some idea, the IT department numbers about 100 and we have about 2,500 employes in total.I’m also a woman, and while I dislike bringing gender into the discussion, I’m starting to think it’s unavoidable. Here’s why: The CEO has six executives on his senior staff team. The other five are men. Putting it charitably, I find them far too relaxed and unprofessional in how they run this place. If any member of the IT staff worked as few hours as they do I’d probably start termination proceedings, and if any of my IT leaders refused to hold their staff accountable for performance as much as these guys do they’d find themselves without any staff to hold accountable any more. It’s that bad.No, it’s worse, because I’m an outcast. The CEO and the other senior staff members frequently have lunch together, frequently play golf together, and travel together to vendor-paid junkets. It isn’t that I’m dying to socialize with them, understand, but it does send a message to me.The CEO reinforced that message recently in my annual performance review. He told me the other members of his team found me arrogant, difficult to talk to, intimidating, and “not a team player.” Since he and all of his other direct reports feel the same way, he said, it must be me. I’m not sure either way. On the one hand he’s clearly right – if all of them find me hard to work with, I must be hard for them to work with. On the other hand, the CEO has hired himself five times. Actually, six – my predecessor was just like the other five until he left to ruin another company’s IT organization.So what should I do? The CEO has made working with an executive coach and “getting along” with my peers a condition of my continued employment. Or, I can take a severance package and take some time to find a better opportunity.My friends all tell me I should leave, but are evenly divided between “get out now while you still have some self-esteem,” and “smile and take it until you find your next opportunity.” I’m evenly divided myself – Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I’m ready to leave; Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I’ll stay until the next job comes along. Sunday I don’t worry about it.What do you think? You’re probably the tie-breaker.– Becoming Bipolar Dear Becoming …My first thought is that the problem really is you. You sound like you’re far smarter and more professional than your peers and the CEO. As smart as you are, you should be able to manipulate them to do as you think they should do without their ever knowing you’re doing so. Since you aren’t, I can only conclude one of two things: Either you actually think facts and logic are going to persuade stupid people, or you just don’t have the time or patience to manipulate stupid people to make good decisions.Well, okay, social engineering isn’t for everyone, and you have to know yourself. Companies where getting along is the core executive competency are all too common, as are the executives who thrive in them. The ones who get ahead in this kind of company are shrewd politicians who focus their energies on coalition-building, internal selling, and personal aggrandizement. If you aren’t this kind of person and don’t see yourself becoming one of them, it means you do need to move on. Stay as long as you can, but when you start seriously doubting your own abilities you should leave immediately, with or without your severance package. (I’m assuming you have enough assets to withstand some time on the bench and/or enough contacts to find some consulting contracts to tide you over, or none of your friends would be suggesting immediate departure).My other suggestion is this: Spend a lot of time researching potential employers. Who you work for matters a lot to you – you have to respect your peers and leadership; even more important they have to be worthy of your respect. There just aren’t all that many companies like that. There never have been and probably never will be, human nature being what it is.So start your search now, be picky, and make sure … make very sure … you’re the exact person this rare company is going to want to hire when you find it. Then, use every bit of personal networking you can to get the right introductions. And be prepared for one more thing: Once you find the right company, be willing to start off underemployed there. Someone like you is better off in too low a position in a great company that with the right title in a badly run one. The good news about this piece of bad news: In the kind of company you want to work for, excellence succeeds.Which is a whole lot better than where you are right now.– Bob ——– Technology Industry