More gender bias

Hello Bob,

I am another female who find herself in a similar position to “Bipolar,” although I’m not the CIO, just an IT Operations/Security Manager. And I wonder, as she does, if gender plays a role in the situation; you did not really address that particular aspect of her situation and concern.

I’ve been the only female at a management level in my IT organization for a couple of years now. I have learned that “facts and logic” are not going to persuade stupid people inside or outside the department; if they weren’t stupid, facts and logic would suffice.

I do find myself asking how these stupid people got to positions of power or authority. I can’t accept the common adage, “people rise to one level above their own competence” because what does that say about me?? I just don’t have the time and patience to “manipulate stupid people to make good decisions.” I can be very Machiavellian when I need to, manipulating people without them realizing it, but it takes a lot of time and energy, and I have more than enough other things that need to be done. I have also found that playing games like that professionally inevitably creeps into my personal life and I just cannot live like that. So as a rule, I don’t play the games. And I can live with the consequences of that particular choice.

I hate to think gender could be at the root of the problem. I was raised with the belief that it had no bearing on ability and never conceived that success was based anything other than ability until I entered the work force (naive, wasn’t I?).

However, in dealing with men of a certain age in IT, there does seem to be a problem focused around gender. At several IT events (especially those about security!) I have found myself literally the only woman in sight, and the older “geek-techie guys” and Men In Suits become obviously discomfited at the idea of continuing a serious conversation when a woman enters into the mix.

Intellectually, I realize it is more likely their problem causing the difficulty (after these awkward encounters I always double-check that I’m dressed appropriately, my hair under control and there’s no spinach between the teeth, or anything). It doesn’t seem so much of an issue with the young men just entering the work force, but those are not the ones I interact with on a daily basis who are in positions of authority. And yet, “the guys” in my IT organization often go to lunch together, sometimes combining various levels of staff and management, but I have never once been invited. I rarely find out about them at all until they’ve all left.

I don’t expect you to have any answers to the above, I haven’t posed any real questions. But I do think that you side-stepped Bipolar’s real question, so I’ll rephrase it as I understood it: Many men have acquired their positions without having the real ability or skills to get the position, but very few women have done that; we are likely overqualified for any position of substantial authority, especially in IT. In the 21st Century, what is a woman to do when confronted with what certainly looks like the Old Boy’s Network blocking her success within an organization, especially when the stupidity card is obviously in play? Ignore the possible gender issue? Or raise it, but how and with whom??

I had already made the determination to look for a different kind of company, a different kind of IT organization. People I meet from the “outside world” are astonished when they discover just what I’ve been doing and have pulled strings to get me introductions to others who might help, but nothing has panned out yet – open positions are still few and far between.

Having just read your newsletter about First CEM Bank, after recognizing certain similarities between it and the company I currently work for, I thought with a sigh of regret, “A company run by Bob Lewis would certainly have the right attitude about rewarding true excellence.”

– Another woman left all alone

Dear Lonely …

Oh, sure, another woman playing the “stupidity card!” Not that I disagree. And in fact, I’ll tell you one secret of my consulting success: I talk to the women.

While no generalities hold all the time, I’ve found that often enough, female professionals are treated with respect so seldom that just by treating them with the respect due to fellow professionals I get more and more candid information than I do from their male counterparts. Nothing indiscreet, mind you … but certainly, more cooperation.

One other comment that’s certain to get me into trouble with everyone: While I agree with you that many women are far more qualified than their male counterparts for all the reasons you describe, I’m afraid that trend is balanced by women whose core competency is flirting with males in positions of influence. So in the end it averages out.

None of which has anything to do with your situation, so let me take another run at it.

I agree with your conclusion … find another organization that isn’t populated by Males Who Refuse to Deal with Women as Equals (MWRDWEs). They’re out there, and easy to spot during the interview process, too: As you’re walking around the company, keep an eye out for who works in IT, and perhaps ask whoever you’re interviewing with to walk you through the IT organizational chart. While they’re explaining the organization, you’re finding out how far women have progressed in it.

In the meantime …

First, don’t file a formal complaint. There’s just no point in it. You’ll get a reputation as a complainer and troublemaker, and nothing you’re experiencing is overt enough to end up with a useful result.

But because you’re a couple of tiers down in the organization compared to Bipolar, your odds are a bit better. At this level there’s at least a chance the problem is that you’re dealing with Males Who Don’t Know How to Talk with Females (MWDKHTFs) and not the MWRDWEs you think you are. MWDKHTFs can be trained. All it takes is acclimitization.

Just take every opportunity you can to talk with the MWDKHTFs. If appropriate for a situation, ask their advice (“Hey, Jim, got a minute? I’d like to bounce an idea off you.”) And so forth. Eventually, they’ll get accustomed to the idea. After awhile they’ll be comfortable if you join them at their table in the company cafeteria (if you have one) or the local restaurant, or what have you.

Or else, they’re stupid MWRDWEs and won’t. There’s only one way to find out, and until you find your next position, you have nothing to lose finding out which they are.

– Bob

PS: A company run by Bob Lewis rewarding excellence? I dunno. Just look at who I installed as president!

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