Dear Bob ... I've become a leader -- a boss -- fairly recently, and I confess a certain feeling it's not quite ethical to wield power. I admit that feeling is just the leftovers of having been a hippie 35 years ago, but it's reinforced by those I lead. They, too are obviously uncomfortable with a friend who's also a (often their) boss. They're not sure how to treat me and some solve the dilemma by being subtly o Dear Bob …I’ve become a leader — a boss — fairly recently, and I confess a certain feeling it’s not quite ethical to wield power. I admit that feeling is just the leftovers of having been a hippie 35 years ago, but it’s reinforced by those I lead. They, too are obviously uncomfortable with a friend who’s also a (often their) boss. They’re not sure how to treat me and some solve the dilemma by being subtly obsequious, others by joking about my position vs. theirs.The status and power inequality IS awkward and uncomfortable. It doesn’t prevent me from being a leader, but it does present a barrier for some of my former peers. Others still act and apparently feel like my peers and simply defer to my authority when that’s relevant. – NewbieDear Newbie …It’s one of the toughest transitions – from peer to manager. The relationship does change; few people are willing to acknowledge that it’s changed let alone talk about the nature of the change openly and honestly. Have you considered conducting a session with your team to talk through exactly what has changed and what hasn’t, to calibrate everyone’s expectations to the new situation?It has a touchy-feelie encounter-group feel that makes me just a wee bit uncomfortable. On the other hand, my general rule of thumb is that when there’s a large opportunity for misalignment, communication is the best answer.If you do decide to take this route, there are a few big items to make sure you include on the list: * As a peer, you were colleagues first and friends second, but there isn’t that big a difference between the two except that you have to get along with a colleague during business hours while friendship is optional. As a manager, you’re the manager first and a friend second, and there’s a big difference between the two.* As a peer, giving bad news to a colleague is generally optional, and both parties have an equal risk when it happens. As their manager, giving bad news is required if there’s bad news to give on your part. They have only your word that there’s no risk on their part.* One category of bad news is a performance deficit. Like it or not, management has decided to put you in a position where if there’s a difference of opinion, your opinion wins. That doesn’t mean you’re suddenly going to stop listening, only that there does come a time for a decision, and when that time comes it isn’t always going to be a group consensus. Whether you handle this communication in a meeting like this or through some other way of getting the message across, it’s important to do so.– Bob ——– Technology Industry