Dear Bob ... To me, integrity matters - without it, I'd have nothing. Unfortunately, I'm starting to think that with it I have even less. I generally tell our managers the truth, instead of what they want to hear and I'm certain it's hurt my career. Please tell me you'd do the same thing - tell the truth regardless of the consequences. Or in your eyes, is integrity not as important as it is to me? - Straight tal Dear Bob …To me, integrity matters – without it, I’d have nothing. Unfortunately, I’m starting to think that with it I have even less. I generally tell our managers the truth, instead of what they want to hear and I’m certain it’s hurt my career.Please tell me you’d do the same thing – tell the truth regardless of the consequences. Or in your eyes, is integrity not as important as it is to me? – Straight talkerDear Talker …Well … no, not exactly. Or maybe the better answer is, yes, but not exactly. One of the more valuable lessons I’ve learned in life is the difference between being right and being persuasive. One of the problems I’ve found with being right is that I’m not always. The second is that when I am, it mostly puts people off, because being right is about me. So I decided quite a few years ago to learn to be persuasive instead.Being persuasive is about the person on the other side of the conversation. What that means, in part, is figuring out how to bring that individual around from their current point of view to one you think would be more useful or beneficial. That never starts with, “Here’s why you’re wrong.” It rarely starts with, “I don’t agree – here’s why.” Although the latter is far more effective than the former, because disagreeing doesn’t lay claim to being the one who’s right.Even when specific facts exist that specifically prove my point, “The facts suggest otherwise,” works better than, “You’re wrong.” Simple phrases like, “There’s another way of looking at the subject you might find useful,” can help ease the way in, too.And sometimes, if I’m convinced there’s no way to persuade someone, I won’t try.In some cases, winning the point isn’t worth the effort. In others, finding someone else to persuade is a better idea: The goal is usually to “persuade” the organization, so persuading individuals is a means to an end, not the end itself. As you point out, most of what needs to get done involves some level of pain. That means just telling the truth as either of us see it will rarely be sufficient, and will often be counterproductive. There are, after all, a lot of good reasons to avoid going to the dentist.– Bob ——– Technology Industry