Dear Bob ... I read your advice to Fouled My Own Nest and I can't agree with your view of things. Sex outside of marriage causes problems though it is generally considered politically incorrect these days to say so. In your response, you said, "... it was no big deal from a work perspective, so long as you kept your personal matters personal and after hours." This is the point where I disagree with what you Dear Bob …I read your advice to Fouled My Own Nest and I can’t agree with your view of things. Sex outside of marriage causes problems though it is generally considered politically incorrect these days to say so.In your response, you said, “… it was no big deal from a work perspective, so long as you kept your personal matters personal and after hours.” This is the point where I disagree with what you say. How can it be no big deal? Either the relationship heads towards marriage or towards divorce (usually unpleasant). Either of those scenarios would alter things in the workplace wouldn’t it? I agree that your personal life ought to be personal but isn’t this an instance of trying to take your work life into your personal life (as opposed to work dragging your personal life into your work life)? – On the other side of this issueDear Other side …Many readers figured “affair” translated to “illicit affair.” I didn’t make the assumption. I figure it this way. People work together. Sometimes, when they do, they find they like each other. Sometimes the find they like each other a lot. And so on. It happens, humans being humans and all.The question is not whether two professionals also have a personal relationship. It’s whether they keep their personal and professional relationships separate. As adults, it’s really up to them to decide whether there’s a problem. Committing career suicide just to satisfy HR isn’t, in my book, a requirement. If the affair was ongoing, that would be a different matter.Whether affairs last or not, and whether extramarital affairs cause problems for either party or whatever is a personal issue, not a workplace issue. In that regard, I have to respond to your remark that “Either the relationship heads towards marriage or towards divorce (usually unpleasant). Either of those scenarios would alter things in the workplace wouldn’t it?” Imagine a husband and wife work in the same company – not an uncommon situation. Now imagine they decide to divorce – also not uncommon. We can hardly tell them they can’t because it affects the workplace and violates company policy, can we?I think some people read the letter and decided the affair was a matter of choice, about nothing more than sex. “Fouled” didn’t clarify; I have no idea whether this was the case or whether the two fell in love and then fell back out of love. It’s none of my business, really. We’re talking about human beings, and if two adults decide they’ve fallen in love, I just don’t see that choosing to ignore their feelings of affection for each other is the moral thing to do, just because they happen to work in the same building, department, or adjacent cubicles.Avoiding a conflict of interest is an ethical issue. Beyond that, I’d say employers already have enough power over employees. And by the way, in this day and age what’s politically incorrect is to suggest that two people can have an affair without it causing problems. Worrying about other peoples’ sins is definitely the politically popular course of action right now.– Bob ——– Technology Industry