Handling an unpredictable personality

Dear Bob …

I’m the CIO in a mid-sized company – small enough that we should be focused and agile; more than big enough that our executives should know how to behave professionally.

Emphasis on should. Another executive – a peer of mine on the organizational chart – is mercurial (I think that’s the right word). His moods are unpredictable. One day he wants to be my best buddy, the next he explodes over trivial matters, and in very public settings. It isn’t just me either – he’s the same way with his direct reports, the employees in his division, and anyone else in the company.

Except the CEO, needless to say. With the CEO he’s nothing but charming.

I don’t know that I’m looking for advice as much as commentary. I’m already pretty sure I know how I should handle this guy – by ignoring him to the extent that I’m able, by acting professionally when we interact, and by blowing him off when he loses his temper, walking away until he’s calmed down and we can have a productive conversation.

Anything else occur to you?

– Living among mood disorders

Dear Living …

It’s tempting to play junior shrink and diagnose a classic case of bipolar disorder. It’s tempting, except that I don’t think that’s what’s going on here.

A long time ago, Carlos Casteneda described “warriors.” Among their character traits is unpredictability. The idea is that if nobody can predict what you’re going to do next, you keep them off-balance and they’ll be less likely to defeat you in battle.

I doubt this character was literate enough to read any Casteneda, but he probably didn’t have to. Many corporate executives achieved their status through a single core competency – the ability to get their way. Most would be astonished if either of us was to suggest that this isn’t the only goal that matters, in fact.

My guess is that your buddy discovered, long ago in his formative years, that being unpredictable is a terrific way to get whatever you want. Most people, most of the time, are uncomfortable around anger and will take steps to placate whoever is expressing it, so long as they have a reasonable expectation that the steps they take will be effective.

When your buddy gets angry, they placate him. The next day he’s their best buddy. It worked!

It’s behavior modification at its finest.

So long as you continue working in the nut-house, it sounds to me like you have the right strategy. If you feel a bit of game playing, you might want to add one more tactic to the ones you listed: Whenever you interact with him, regardless of how he’s behaving at the moment, scowl at him in distaste. Don’t be obvious enough for him to raise it as an issue – be subtle.

But be noticeable. Relent only when he does something to try to please you, and then only briefly.

Sure, it’s a bit unsavory. But if anyone deserves it, this guy does.

– Bob