When you’re supposed to take unquestioning orders

Dear Bob …

My manager uses meetings to give orders. She doesn’t tolerate discussions. Whenever I try to make a suggestion, she cuts the meeting short, saying, “Haven’t I just told you what to do? GET OUT OF MY OFFICE.”

It happens regularly; it happens one-on-one only; I don’t think I am confrontational, and I don’t think I talk too much.

What’s the best response to “Get Out”?

– Shut Out

Dear Shut Out …

It depends. If your manager has any redeeming virtues, you might try to salvage the situation.

To do this, ask for some of her time. By doing so, you’ll make that time your meeting, not hers. Then put your cards on the table. Explain that when she gives you an assignment but doesn’t let you speak, it prevents you from clarifying points you find ambiguous or just don’t understand, and that increases the risk of your performing the assignment incorrectly. Then ask her the best way for you to raise these points.

Prepare yourself for the meeting by focusing on being calm and professional throughout, regardless of how she behaves. Part of achieving this is anticipating likely responses on her part and how you’ll deal with them. If you don’t do this there’s a good chance you’ll become flustered somewhere along the line, which will make the meeting counterproductive.

Very important: Once you take this route, be careful to avoid phrasing anything as a suggestion (clearly a red-flag approach). Make everything like Jeopardy, where everything you say must be phrased as a question.

Only try this if there’s a reason you want to continue to work for this manager, though. From your description I have to wonder why you’d want to do that.

And if you can’t see why it’s worthwhile, don’t take the risk. Just take the initiative to find a different manager to work for.

Really, you’d just be doing what she told you to do.

– Bob

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