Skills for leading a non-profit

Dear Bob …

Again, Bob, even though I starred your June 25th column ( A leadership list in reverse) to read sometime later, it always gets me that your topics have relevance to whatever I’m doing on the day I read them!

Today, for instance, I was wandering the shelves of a local bookstore on my day off. I’m so busy managing the non-profit I’m responsible for that I rarely have time to look for words of wisdom on the shelves to assist me with my latest quest, which does have to do with learning about leadership.

For years, I was just part of the pack, free to do my job and criticize how the managers ran the place, keeping a mental list of what I’d do differently if I ran the show. And now, here I am doing just that. I know now, it’s not easy, and I can see how so many of my previous managers just resorted to a totalitarian management style, probably more out of frustration than anything else.

In any case, I’m trying to learn not only how to lead this new organization, but to be an accountable, effective, and visionary consultant for the elected trustees to whom I am responsible. I guess what I’m trying to learn is how to work well with boards. It’s a different relationship than when I was part of the team, and worked with management. With boards, you are at the same time their consultant, and also at times, their witness to cross-examine!

After working with these people for a few years, I believe we’ve established mutual trust and respect, but it’s the dynamic workings of such groups that leaves me at a loss to understand how best to operate in some circumstances. I think I have a tendency to be reactive. (This is probably the sentence you’ll zero right in on, and rightly so. Recognizing something is a problem is usually considered the first step towards fixing it, right?).

I would consider myself an open and direct person, but I have the feeling I could benefit from some coaching in ‘persuasion.’ Was it you who mentioned the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene? I knew how to take his tongue-in-cheek rulebook, but it’s amazing how, since reading that book, I can see his principles, tactics and strategies in the behavior of others!

So some of the titles I jotted down today: How to Talk so People Will Listen, Covert Persuasion, Crucial Conversations, How to have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People, Secrets of Power Persuasion (and forgive me) The Art of War for Women. What I bought? Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion.

So I’m not sure there was a question here, Bob, but if you have anything to recommend, I would sure listen.

– Learning the Ropes

Dear Learning …

That’s the problem with books about leadership: There are so many of them; each looks at the problem from a different angle; and so few offer actual, practical advice.

What’s saddest of all is how few books by successful leaders provide anything of value. Too often they’re chest-thumping exercises in ego-gratification.

That is, by the way, the reason I wrote my own.

Of the titles you mentioned, I think you chose the right one.

Anyway, I’d say you took the most important step when you recognized the peculiar relationship you have with the board(s?) with whom you work. It is as you say, only more so: Sometimes you’re a consultant. Sometimes you’re a scapegoat. When you feel like you’re being interrogated, what’s usually going on is that one or more board members figure they could have done the job better had they only had the time and inclination. Their questions are usually of the “didja” variety (“Didja think of this? Didja do that?”) and are seemingly designed to put you on the defensive.

But really, they’re designed to impress you with the expertise and acumen of the questioner.

More than anything else, someone running a non-profit enterprise has to master just a few key skills. The ones that occur to me at the moment are:

1. Time management, which is the polite way of saying, make sure you keep control of your calendar. My guess is that you’re working with volunteers, including a volunteer board, and that means most of the people you’re dealing with are in the game for two reasons – a desire to do good works, and an equally strong need for ego-gratification. They aren’t going to get it unless you give it to them. For most, part of it is getting enough of your time to feel like a member of the “inner circle.”

And so, you’ll often feel like you’re the rope in a game of tug o’ war.

Keep control of your calendar.

2. Become very good at the game of ego-gratification. Sometimes it takes nothing more than remembering to say, “That’s an excellent point,” whether you think it’s an excellent point, a point that’s correct but so obvious that only the stalest slice in the loaf would bother to make it, or a remarkable example of the Unverbalized Stupidity Uncertainty Principle – the principle that when stupid people keep their mouths shut you’re less certain they’re idiots.

3. Become even better at recognizing the talents each volunteer brings to you. Among your volunteers you’ll find an amazing array of useful skills. If you can figure out how to assemble them into working groups that buy into assignments you can get a lot done.

4. Your board: Theoretically it’s there to provide direction, governance, oversight and guidance. It’s really there to support your fund-raising efforts. The more you’re willing to allow the former, the more you’ll get the latter – especially if you remind them of it from time to time.

You’ll also find some truly important talent and skills on your board. Take advantage of them. Especially between board meetings. Cultivate each board member, asking one-on-one advice of each. That will make you appear smart to each of them; also a team player.

One of the skills you’re unlikely to find on your board is knowledge of how to effectively delegate – to you, that is. So you’ll constantly find yourself in the position of those who are on the receiving end of poor delegation everywhere. The solution: Excel in the science of reverse delegation.

Which means, help those delegating to you delegate better by spotting what they failed to do and making sure they do it. If they delegate something without assigning a deadline, ask what the deadline is. If they don’t make it clear whether you have the authority to decide or just to recommend, ask. If they don’t establish regular checkpoints, suggest them.

When you decide to take the initiative, be careful to put your initiatives in front of the board and say, “Here’s what I’m planning to do over the next six months. I want to make sure it’s the right list before the staff, our volunteers and I get too far along on it all.”

5. Make your paid staff the true inner circle. Volunteers come and go; so do board members. Your paid staff are, or should be, your additional eyes and ears, to help you know What’s Going On Out There, whether it’s how patrons are reacting, which board members get along with which other board members, which volunteers have become romantically involved (it happens; you need to know when it does), which can’t stand each other or view each other as rivals.

I’m sure there’s a lot more I’m not thinking of. That’s okay. You’ll figure it out.

– Bob

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