Adding diplomacy to difficult messages. Dear Bob …Recently I sent this letter to one of the executives in my company:For two days running I have found a very large desk in the middle of the storage room. Today, in addition to the desk in the middle of the room, a large hole appeared in the room’s front wall. We all need to be kept informed about what is happening. If work is being performed we should be informed about it and its purpose. Why would there be holes in office walls? Certainly, anyone who needs to use that space, even casually, should be informed as to the reason. We also need to know when a particular job is considered “finished.” Quite a few offices and cubicles are still missing ceiling tiles. Is this because the work is not finished, or have the workmen just not put things back as they should be? Please let us know what is going on here. Aside from holes in walls and ceilings, what is actually occurring is not obvious to casual viewer. Thanks. The reply I received? “You might want to rethink the tone of this email.” I need your considered opinion. – In the dark Dear Nightsider … Clearly, you need to learn the art of ManagementSpeak. Try this as an alternative: As you know, we make extensive use of the storage room. Two days ago a very large desk appeared in the middle of the room. Today, a large hole appeared in the front of the room, which means the room isn’t at all secure anymore. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining [Translation: I am complaining, only now you can’t accuse me of it]. If the desk is only there for a couple of days and the hole will be repaired in the same period of time, that’s fine. Otherwise, whoever put the desk in the room really should have consulted with me so we [Translation: They] could have put it in a less disruptive spot. And it would have been helpful if whoever is responsible for the hole in the wall had let those of us who use the room know what’s going on so we could make whatever arrangements we need to make to ensure the room’s contents don’t become “portable.” I’m calling this to your attention because it appears to be symptomatic of a more general issue: Very often, those who make decisions don’t seem to have the mental habit of informing those who will be affected by it [Translation: Those in authority – and I’m talking about you – are arrogant SOBs who lack the basic good manners parents try to teach kindergarten-age children]. Another example: Many offices and cubicles are still missing ceiling tiles. None of us know whether this because the work is not finished, or the workmen just left without completing the work. If you would be kind enough to encourage everyone, and especially everyone in construction, to make the extra effort needed to properly communicate plans and events, a lot of us here would sure appreciate it. [Translation: What am I, your mother? Tell us what’s going on you moron!] Thanks. Kidding aside, with just a bit of additional effort it’s usually possible to prevent offense-taking. The main elements: Focus on issues, not blame: Take out everything that sounds like, “You did something wrong,” and replace it with, “Something is going on that’s causing difficulties.”Explain why it matters: Replace every instance of “Here’s the problem,” with “Here’s the problem and here’s why it matters.”Ask for help: Replace everything that sounds like “Here’s what you should do,” with “Here’s what would help me.”With enough practice, you’ll become good enough that weeks will go by before the person receiving your e-mail realizes you were yanking their chain. – Bob Technology Industry