Memo to Broadcom sales

analysis
Jun 20, 20082 mins

FROM: Broadcom Human Resources Team TO: Sales management I hope everyone had a good time at our recent offsite meeting and no one got arrested! Ha ha, just kidding about that. At any rate, I wanted to summarize some of the new changes in policy that we have put in place. It's a shame that the actions of a few "renegades" within the organization have caused us to be more strict in our policies, but as a publicly

FROM: Broadcom Human Resources Team

TO: Sales management

I hope everyone had a good time at our recent offsite meeting and no one got arrested! Ha ha, just kidding about that.

At any rate, I wanted to summarize some of the new changes in policy that we have put in place. It’s a shame that the actions of a few “renegades” within the organization have caused us to be more strict in our policies, but as a publicly held company, we take these issues very serious. So just to reiterate:

– We will no longer provide “hookers and blow” for sales kickoff meetings.

Spiking customers drinks with drugs is no longer permitted.

– Sales reps may not expense recreational drugs without VP approval. There is new cap of $10,000 per rep.

– When riding on the corporate jet, you must have at least one “designated driver” (in addition to the the flight crew) who will refrain from smoking marijuana on the flight. Also note that a maximum of 6 doobies are permitted on board for cross-country flights and only 2 for flights of less than 1 hour.

– Employees are not premitted to threaten clients with violence; however it is always fine to suggest that there could be price increases in the future.

Thanks for your understanding. Again, I’m sorry about the timing of these changes and I hope that it does not put a crimp in closing deals this quarter. We have a lot to be proud of and I believe our reputation in the industry remains solid. Also, I want to thank all those who signed up for our new web-based training “Selling within the Law.”

–Your HR team.

PS. Looking forward to our next offsite in Vegas, baby!