They say if you have to explain a joke it probably wasn't very funny in the first place. So it goes with my effort to inspire a new slogan for Microsoft. Some faithful readers wonder why I care about Microsoft's advertising campaigns. Short answer: I don't. My point was that Microsoft's tortured, clumsy and/or inscrutable taglines are an all-too-accurate reflection of its tortured, clumsy, and/or inscrutable sof They say if you have to explain a joke it probably wasn’t very funny in the first place. So it goes with my effort to inspire a new slogan for Microsoft.Some faithful readers wonder why I care about Microsoft’s advertising campaigns. Short answer: I don’t. My point was that Microsoft’s tortured, clumsy and/or inscrutable taglines are an all-too-accurate reflection of its tortured, clumsy, and/or inscrutable software. I thought improving the slogans might have a beneficial effect on the software. (Color me whimsical.)Nonetheless, the Cringe crew came through with dozens of great suggestions, both in responding to the original entry and in email. Though none are likely to steer MS in a new direction, they certainly nail where the company is today. Some of the best: “We’re Microsoft. Everything else is just patent infringement.” “Microsoft: Never have so many produced so little so slowly.” “The clouds above, the mud below.” (I’m not sure what that means either, but I find it strangely soothing.) My personal favorite? “Live complex to the max. Microsoft. We make complex possible.”Kudos to reader D. H. for that last one. The man has a job waiting for him in Redmond’s marketing department. (Thanks to readers B. D., H. C. and L. B. for the other gems, and to all the Cringe faithful who contributed.) Does Microsoft deserve all the bashing it gets? Nominate other companies that deserve a good thrashing below, or email them to me here. Top tipsters will receive a simple Cringe bag for their troubles. Software DevelopmentSmall and Medium Business