A manager who asks to be nagged

This question came in the form of a question asked during a leadership seminar I’m teaching this week. The segment topic was “managing up.” – Bob

How do I get my boss to stop doing this? He isn’t getting one of his responsibilities done. When I ask him about it he tells me this isn’t something he’s good at, and what I should do is to keep bugging him about it to keep him on track.

That isn’t my job. How do I get him to take responsibility for this?

– Class participant

Here’s how I answered. Let me know if you have better advice.

First of all, be grateful. At least your manager is aware of his failings and doesn’t try to hide them. Even better, he’s asked for your help. That doesn’t make the situation ideal. It does make it a whole lot better than it could be.

As to what you should do, this starts with remembering your goal when managing up. It isn’t about getting your way. That’s secondary. Your primary goal is to help your manager be a better manager. Along the way you get to practice skills that make you a better leader.

Start by trying to get inside your manager’s head. What’s causing this behavior in the first place? My guess: Like everyone else on this planet, your manager enjoys some parts of his job more than others. In a busy day it’s easy to get sloppy, and do what you like doing instead of that day’s (or hour’s or minute’s) top priority.

We all do this. My guess is that your manager does too, and it’s now out of hand.

One very good alternative would be for you to volunteer to take over as much of this responsibility as possible. That way the task gets done, it gets done to your liking, you’ve gained in stature and responsibility, and your manager is happier, too.

And, you get to practice your negotiating skills, because nothing should be free. Volunteer to take some of this on in exchange for his reassigning some of your responsibilities (the ones you don’t particularly enjoy). Now, in addition to everything else, you enjoy your job more.

If this doesn’t work for you, my second-best recommendation is to learn to shrug it off and live with it. In the wide world of workplace aggravations, this one just isn’t worth a lot of blood pressure increase.

– Bob