Everybody must get stoned. German laptop maker Medion shipped between 10,000 and 100,000 Vista notebooks with a 13-year-old stowaway aboard -- a variation of the stoned virus, last seen round these parts in the mid 1990s. Stoned dates from the era where viruses were mostly harmless -- more of an acid flashback than an OD. Medion's big mistake: adding that “Please click here to indicate your malware is over 13 ye Everybody must get stoned. German laptop maker Medion shipped between 10,000 and 100,000 Vista notebooks with a 13-year-old stowaway aboard — a variation of the stoned virus, last seen round these parts in the mid 1990s. Stoned dates from the era where viruses were mostly harmless — more of an acid flashback than an OD. Medion’s big mistake: adding that “Please click here to indicate your malware is over 13 years of age” button to the OS. Suckers wanted. Apparently Time Warner is seeking a buyer for its AOL dial-up business. Among its requirements is that the buyer must have a) never heard of P. T. Barnum, or b) been frozen in a cryogenic vault for the past 10 years. However, I understand they’re willing to sweeten the deal by throwing in an aircraft hangar filled with Free AOL discs. Hell is for Heroes. When NBC dumped the iTunes store for its new shows, Apple said “take the rest of your precious TV programs you ungrateful twerps, we never liked you anyway.” Now the peacock network is launching NBC Direct, where viewers can download programs like “The Office” or “Heroes” for free up to a week past their air date. The catch? Commercials will be embedded in the files you can’t skip or fast forward past – you know, kind of like life before TiVo? So let’s see: I can watch these shows for free (and commercial free) on my DVR, or watch them on my Windows PC with Mr. Whipple, Joe Isuzu, and The Pillsbury Doughboy. If you think that’s a great deal, I’ve got a dial up network I’d to sell you. Jobs v Hackers — This time it’s personal. Steve Jobs has officially commented about the hacks that unlocked the iPhone, and he’s declared “Game on, dude.” Quoth St. Steve: It’s a cat-and-mouse game. We try to stay ahead. People will try to break in, and it’s our job to stop them breaking in….I’m not sure if we’re the cat or the mouse. Hmm, that sounds strangely familiar. Where I have heard that exact phrase before? Oh yeah – here, in my blog entry last week. Hey, maybe I’m the real Fake Steve Jobs?Send your silly tech news or fake billionaires to me directly, or post them below. Top tipsters qualify for cool new swag. Software DevelopmentSmall and Medium Business