One ring to rule them all. Remember that scene in The Lord of the Rings where Sauron has all the Orcs busy sharpening tools and digging up Goblins in preparation for the huge battle to decide the fate of man- elf- and dwarf-kind? That's apparently what Microsoft has been doing all week, contemplating just how medieval it's going to get on Yahoo's assets. According to reports in the Wall Street Journal (Microsoft One ring to rule them all. Remember that scene in The Lord of the Rings where Sauron has all the Orcs busy sharpening tools and digging up Goblins in preparation for the huge battle to decide the fate of man- elf- and dwarf-kind? That’s apparently what Microsoft has been doing all week, contemplating just how medieval it’s going to get on Yahoo’s assets. According to reports in the Wall Street Journal (Microsoft’s preferred outlet for unofficial leaks), the MS board has been meeting all week to decide whether to up the bid, go hostile or walk away. As if Ballmer would ever admit defeat. No, I predict a surge of Orcs, Goblins, and other nasties will start to make their way south from Redmond late today, after the markets close. Will Jerry Yang be Frodo? Will Google turn into Gandalf and save the day? Stay tuned.I’ll BEA seeing you. Employees of BEA held an informal ‘wake’ at a Silicon Valley restaurant earlier this week to mourn the passing of their company into the intestinal tract of Oracle, the corporate equivalent of Monty Python’s Mr. Creosote (“just one more bite, it’s wahfer theen”) . The wake featured a makeshift coffin in one part of the room. Efforts to get Larry Ellison to occupy the seat of honor — inside the coffin –proved unsuccessful. Check, please. A 21-year-old would-be music biz impresario in Fort Worth was arrested earlier this week after trying to cash a Texas-sized check for $360 billion. According to The Register, Charles Ray Fuller of “Fulla Comp and Entertainment” tried to pass a bogus check allegedly signed by his girlfriend’s mother; Fuller must have heard something about the mother being well endowed and took it the wrong way. His next likely move? Post bond for $3750 and, since this is Texas, run for public office. Got hot tips or multi-billion dollar checks? Post them below or email me: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Super swag awaits top tipsters. Think you’ve got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They’re not as easy as they look: • The InfoWorld News Quiz • Test Your Geek IQ • Test Your Network Security IQ Software DevelopmentSmall and Medium Business