My TechED Survival Guide

OK, with TechED just around the corner, I thought I’d shoot you guys a little list of things you can do to make TechED a little less miserable. It’s not that the conference itself is miserable, it’s just being out of town for a week, and surrounded by thousands of people and having to stand for hours at a time, etc. It can really take its toll on you.

For starters, I’ve got a lot of friends at MS and other companies that I only get to see at these conferences, and this is the first year in several that I’m not going to be able to go. I’ve tried and tried, and I just can’t make it. So, I’m passing along some of my conference tricks in the hopes that some of you will find them useful.

So here they are in no particular order:

1. Take an extra suitcase or bag. The guys back at your office who don’t get to go, so it’s always nice to bring them back something. I always take an extra swag bag so I can pass the goodies out back at the office. It not only makes you popular, but it makes the fact that they didn’t get to go easier to take.

2. Ear plugs. Hotels are noisy to say the least, so take some good earplugs. I use them all the time, and they block out all the busy hotel noise like closing doors, kids running downt he hall, etc. They can make your ears a little sore if you’re not used to them, but it’s a small price to pay to get a good nights sleep. And most alarm clocks will get through them, so you don’t have to worry about being late to any sessions.

3. Take 2 pairs of shoes. Take one pair of travel shoes and one pair of conference shoes. The travel shoes are slip-ons so you can easily go through airport security and also slip them off on the plane. The conference shoes have a lot of support and won’t be too tight on your feet.

4. Eat well. Try to stay away from all the crap on the tables. Most of it is complete garbage and you don’t need to subject yourself to it for an entire week. If you keep your diet more or less unchanged, then you won’t have any… let’s call them bathroom surprises… you don’t want to be spending large amounts of time with stomach aches, etc.

5. This is one of my favorites, and definitely the most useful… Take some spray deodorant… something like Arrid extra dry or the like. Every day before you leave, spray it all over your groin area and your butt, your inner thighs, and up underneath your butt (let’s call it the undercarriage). You’re going to be doing a lot of walking, and a lot of sitting, and the conference gets hot. This one thing will cut down on the chafing and you’ll enjoy yourself much more. Especially in a humid place like Orlando… you guys out there know what I mean, but it’s still an excellent tip for girls as well. We do this at home when we’re going to spend a whole day at 6-Flags or Scarborough Faire. It’s just a tremendous trick and I hope some of you find it as useful as I do.

6. Take a webcam. Your kids will miss you a lot less if they can see you a couple times during the week.

7. They quite often have discounted cert testing, so if you’re planning to take an exam, look into doing it there.

8. Spend as much time as you can in the cabana session. The rest of the sessions will be on the DVDs so you can see them anytime, but the cabana talks aren’t. They’re also run by the MS guys themselves so it’s a good time to hear about the featues by the guys who actually wrote them. If you get a chance, lookup my friend Paul Randal, he’s a towering gentleman with a cute smile… you’ll like him.

9. Hit the exhibit hall early in the week. All the best swag goes pretty fast and you wanna get them while they’re still in a good mood. Don’t be shy about asking for more than one if it’s not big either… just tell them you have guys back at home who couldn’t make it.

10. If you want some swag by a vendor and they wanna talk to you about their product and you really don’t want to hear it, then just tell them you’re not the one at your company who deals with that, but if they give you some info you can take it back and give it to the right guy. This way, they won’t bother with you, but you’ll still get your goodie.

11. While at the conference, always take a couple extra drinks and snacks for the hotel later. It may not be necessary, but it’s nice to know you won’t be empty should the midnight snack bug bite you.

12. If you meet a girl you like and things progress, tell her your name is Paul Randal and you’re a product manager at MS. Not only will she be impressed, but you won’t have to worry about her contacting you after the conference. Just don’t let her see your badge… and if she does, tell her you switched badges with your friend as a joke.

13. Stay away from the beanbag raffle. I won a beanbag one year and had to empty it to get it home because I didn’t want to pay for shipping. Turns out I would have been better off shipping it because quality beans are pretty expensive. The beanbag is still sitting in a box folded waiting to be filled.

14. Take your own shampoo. I used to rely on the hotel shampoo, but it’s too unreliable. Your hair won’t look right all week, and we all know how important that is.

15. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS save the best swag for your boss.

OK, I hope someone out there finds this useful. Let me know if you have any additions, and if I get enough, I’ll post them.

Ya’ll have a good time at TechED without me.