Steve Jobs “miracle” in the valley

Editor’s note: The following story is from InfoWorld’s 2008 April Fool’s spoof-news feature package. It is not true. Enjoy!

They came alone or in groups, giddy with excitement or hushed with awe. They brought flowers and ribbons and broken-down PowerBooks. They lined the sidewalks of this quiet suburban neighborhood, patiently waiting to see what everyone had been talking about. 

There, on the wall of the garage where it all began more than 30 years ago, stood a six-foot-tall slime mold in the shape of Steve Jobs.

Angus McDongle noticed the growth as he skateboarded to work this morning.

“I was like, whoa,” said the 37-year-old, who works as a copy technician at a nearby Kinkos. “It was unmistakable. The glasses, the turtleneck, the whole ‘screw you I’m Steve Jobs’ attitude. And when I remembered Apple Computer was incorporated on April 1, 1976, I had a total Mulder moment.”

Whipping out his iPhone, McDongle immediately posted news of the sighting to his blog, Angus on Apple. Within an hour, word had raced across the blogosphere, and worshippers were lining up to pay homage to what they called the iMold.

By noon the crowd of acolytes stretched around the block. Rumors spread that merely touching the mold could bring broken Apple products back to life. 

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Greg Packer was first in line, wearing a necklace fashioned from iPods with dead batteries.

“I touched it and all my iPods started playing Beatles tunes,” said Packer, 45. “I used to be skeptical about these kinds of things. Now I think different.”

Representatives for Apple declined to acknowledge the apparent miracle, citing the company’s long-standing policy against commenting on unreleased growths.

News of the holy fungus spread north to Redmond, where Microsoft issued a press release, claiming to be in possession of an ostrich egg shaped like Steve Ballmer’s head.

Still, not everyone was convinced.

“That doesn’t look a thing like Steve Jobs,” said Dan Lyons, a 47-year-old knowledge worker. “That’s the fake Steve Jobs. Anybody can see that.”