Answer key: You don’t know tech

Now that you know how you scored, you probably want to know why. Check out the answers below for the gory details. And be sure to return next year for another news quiz, ripped straight from the tech headlines.

Question 1: What escort site helped topple New York’s governor?

10 points

b. EmperorsClubVIP.com

As if you didn’t know. The four individuals running the site are looking at criminal charges, however, so don’t bother bookmarking it. And if the service ever re-opens, they’ll have to change the name to Deposed Emperors Club.

Question 2: What Web host couldn’t handle the escort site’s traffic jam?

10 points

c. Homestead

Instead of comely companions, the site now produces a Homestead page saying “Sorry, the site you requested has been disabled.” Yes, an escort service that charges $3,000 an hour uses a Web host that charges $15 a month. Go figure.

Question 3: Who owns the rights to the Beatles music catalog (which is not coming to iTunes)?

10 points

c. Michael Jackson

Despite a new surge of rumors, the Fab Four is not coming to iTunes — yet. Sony/ATV Music Publishing, of which Mr. Thriller is a 50 percent partner, owns the publishing rights to 180 Beatles songs. Record company EMI owns the actual recordings. The rest of us can just cry baby cry, and make your mother sigh.

Question 4: Who’s been raining on Apple’s parade?

10 points

d.All of the above

Users in Japan have reported seeing sparks when charging their iPod Nanos. (Apple’s investigating.) Atlanta-based ZapMedia is suing Apple, claiming the iTunes Store infringes its patents for distributing digital media. (Apple’s not commenting.) The beta version of iPhone 2.0 firmware (officially Version 1.2.0) has already been cracked, according to a rogue band of iPhone hackers. (Apple is holding its hands over its ears and saying, “La la la, we can’t hear you.”) And no, the Beatles are not coming to iTunes. Will you quit asking already?

Question 5: Whose TV programs won’t be found on Hulu.com?

10 points

a. ABC

After months of limited beta testing, Hulu.com officially launched this week with movies and mainstream TV episodes. But don’t bother looking for Lost or CSI: Hoboken; ABC and CBS have taken a pass so far. And just like regular old TV, you’ll still have to watch ads — or take potty breaks from your PC.

Question 6: What were Sarah Lacy’s crimes against Zuckerberg?

10 points

d.All of the above

Lacy got heckled off stage during Zuckerberg’s “keynote” interview at the digital music schmoozefest, after her attempt at ditzy informality backfired. Lacy’s elegant response to the Twitterati: “Seriously screw all you guys.”

Question 7: Who was trying to fix what?

10 points

c. Rush Limbaugh, troubleshooting his Mac

After complaining on air about problems with his Mac, the rotund radio host got a lengthy call from an Apple engineer who helped him fix the glitch. Rush fans are urging Apple to call its fix “the Limbaugh patch,” which really sounds more like something you’d use to kick your Hillbilly Heroin addiction.

Question 8: What doc has WikiLeaks shared with the world?

10 points

b.The Church of Scientology’s employment agreement

Among other docs, the WikiLeaks posted an employment agreement for one Frank Oliver, who committed to work for the organization’s Department of Special Affairs for the next billion years. It’s not as bad as it sounds: After the first 10 million years they pay you time and a half.

Question 9: Why did Wal-Mart nix its Linux PCs?

10 points

b. Customers did not respond to expectations

“We are America’s retailer, so the decisions on what we offer in our stores is based on how our customers vote with their purchases,” quoth a Wal-Mart spokeshuman. However, the retailer will continue to carry the Everex TC2502 Green gPC in its online store, where presumably the demographic is a bit more tech-friendly.

Question 10: What’s the iPhone’s SDK divided by escorts plus hacked gaming pages?

10 points

c. 10,100

The iPhone SDK has been downloaded by approximately 100,000 users at press time. According to The Smoking Gun, a “three diamonds” escort from Emperor’s Club VIP cost $1,000 an hour (“seven diamonds” would run you just over $3,000). Researchers at McAfee estimate that 10,000 pages on hundreds of online game sites have been attacked. So 100K/1,000 + 10,000 = 10,100. Now it’s time to escort you to the door. Join us next week for another ethically challenged quiz.

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