Glimmer of hope or dying embers? Net neutrality flares up again

Net neutrality is back in the headlines, instigating ferocious fears and angry arguments everywhere, from dive bars in DC to sushi-vegan fusion bistros in San Francisco. Theories abound as to what will happen and even what transpired that fateful day when the DC appeals court maybe smoked one too many and struck down the FCC’s standing open Internet rules, which had governed the behavior of slavering big-business ISP wolves for the last several years, keeping them from devouring both consumers and each other.

This news mostly made headlines last month, but it’s back on many a digitized page 1 because Democrats in both houses of Congress just introduced a bill they say will save Net neutrality for the foreseeable future. Sponsored by California representatives Henry Waxman and Anna Eshoo, the Open Internet Preservation Act of 2014 stands almost no chance of success — mainly because the Republicans, who control the House, have already vowed to hunt it down and kill it like poachers clubbing baby seals.

[ Also on InfoWorld: Did you hear the one about the tech-savvy senator? ]

Which brings up all kinds of questions: Are Republican evil, corporate-owned hunchbacks who believe in “legitimate rape,” while Democrats are haloed do-gooders stymied at every turn by nefarious monsters they can’t overcome? Or has this issue been on the table for years and the Democrats are only now pushing it for political advantage? Does it even matter since both parties’ campaign coffers are stuffed with money from the same ISP/telecomm companies anyway?

Also, is Net neutrality a relic of the past, and should we expect to pay double for what barely passes as third-world broadband while being forced at wallet point to watch only FiOS or Comcast TV since Netflix is doomed to fade into low-QoS obscurity? It all depends — stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before — on whom you ask.

Clashing narratives

Once the FCC’s open rules crashed in court, dire predictions of our digital future started flying around like new working groups at an OpenStack convention. Without an FCC stick to keep them in line, ISPs claim they are essentially free to prioritize the traffic going across their Internet pipes as they see fit.

The idea of a Netflix — competing directly with the streaming video services offered by Verizon FiOS, for example — seems doomed. Regulate Netflix’s streams to a crawl, and even unwilling customers will switch to FiOS video since they’d rather watch that than a spinning hourglass. In this scenario, control needs to be restored to the FCC immediately or we’ll all lose access to independent entertainment and Internet innovation (in other words, free Web porn and hookup apps).

But the FCC spun the ruling an entirely different way. In a press announcement shortly after the ruling, FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler tweeted (apparently how top government officials communicate with the hoi polloi now) that the DC Circuit had “affirmed” the FCC’s authority to maintain a free Internet that will remain open to innovation. Some say Mr. Wheeler must have been high on buckets of espresso and Peruvian flake to misinterpret reality this way. But others claim he’s right on the money since the court gavel-blasted only two provisions of the FCC’s open Internet rules while still accepting its overall interpretation.

If true, it means the FCC can still do whatever it wants when it comes to Internet regulation. Netflix stock prices, data security, LOLCat photos — they’re all up for grabs. The problem is that our golden government’s recent history of stretching any legal loophole into truck-sized tunnels of Constitution-crushing policy means a return to nebulous FCC governance wouldn’t be a good thing either.

How many roads to an open Internet?

Even our paths to salvation are forked both practical and cynical. Watchdog organizations like the fabulous Electronic Frontier Foundation are offering suggestions for ways to give consumers the ability to test their broadband service and challenge their ISPs if they don’t live up to service-level agreements, like broadly available testing tools or independent traffic validation. Others, like the Free Press advocacy group, started petitions that have already garnered the million signatures they need to force White House response.

Then there’s the cynical set that believes any power relying on broad consumer intervention is doomed to apathy in this country and petitions that actually make it to the White House will wind up in a tired clerk’s inbox, ranked lower in priority than his lunch order. These folks default to the fatalistic approach, which posits that everything will shake out in time. Big corporations will try and screw (not necessarily in this order) each other, small up-and-coming competitors, and us as much as they can while these issues remain mired for years in musty courtrooms and CNBC.

In the end, someone will go too far and it’ll become an election issue, which will push the case to the forefront in the court of public opinion. That, in turn, will advance it to the top of the Supreme Court docket, and we’ll finally have a solution — which will bring its own problems. The dance will start again to different music.

As a venerable snarkmeister, I must confess my head lies largely with the latter opinion. But my heart still says — and I believe it’s right — that efforts from large groups of voters can and will have an impact. If a million of us (myself included) were willing to put down our scotch glasses long enough to sign a digital petition against a questionable court ruling in only two weeks, that’s some real passion.

Not without my Netflix

I think I know why: Large corporations, and most likely much of Washington, operate under the proven bread-and-circuses principle, which states that people will ignore attacks on their rights, wealth, and freedoms as long as they’re kept entertained elsewhere. Unfortunately for them, that’s exactly what they’re messing with this time.

Maybe we’ll lay down for email and phone monitoring since most of us think we’re not doing anything worthy of a superspy’s attention anyway, so someone else will wind up trapped in an NSA black site wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask. But stick your grubby fingers into our ability to binge watch “House of Cards” or “Duck Dynasty,” and you’re marching into a political buzz saw.

Yes, control of the Web is now a dogfight with no handlers, but in the end, the money comes from us. Even without very many choices when it comes to ISPs, we can still threaten legions of political jobs. And remember that politicians don’t like losing their jobs since they’ll probably never have it that good again. Get re-elected or it’s back to the used car dealership or the law library.

That’s our ace in the hole, and thanks to the Web, we don’t need to get into a car and drive all the way to Washington to show it.