Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer … and Tony Stark? Welcome to Microsoft’s CEO search

In just a couple of hours, I’m heading off to Berlin for IFA 2013, where the latest electronics announcements are served up amid the dulcet tones of oompah bands and accompanied by visions of frauleins hoisting overflowing beer steins. I’ll be posting more from the road in the coming days, but in the meantime, let’s see what you’ve all had to say in the last few weeks.

First up: Opposing views on Snowden continue to roll in from all sides.

[ For a humorous take on the tech industry’s shenanigans, subscribe to Robert X. Cringely’s Notes from the Underground newsletter and follow Cringely on Twitter. | For a quick, smart take on the news you’ll be talking about, check out InfoWorld TechBrief — subscribe today. ]

In “Edward Snowden, Bradley Manning, and the war on whistleblowers,” I agreed with the increasingly common notion that our government is, well, waging a war on whistleblowers, to our nation’s detriment.

As usual, frequent correspondent T. M. B. disagrees with me in the strongest (and longest) terms possible.

Sorry, I can’t agree with your contention that there is a War on Whistleblowers. If Snowden wanted to tell the world that classified employees can get access to things they aren’t supposed to, that’s one thing. For years government agencies have assumed that people wouldn’t peek into areas that aren’t their concern, and for the most part they were right. My job is too important to me to jeopardize it just because I’m curious about what the Prez had for breakfast. Snowden represents a new breed – people who think that it’s their supervisor’s responsibility to stop them from accessing what they shouldn’t, rather than a question of personal integrity and honor.

On the flip side, reader M. W. argues:

No, Snowden is not a traitor. He released information that was considered ‘classified’, but if he did not reveal the information, would anyone else? How many other security personnel have seen the same terrifying information, but have chosen to disregard it. I believe that I heard that there are over 800,000 contract security personnel that have the high security clearance. And no one considers that an issue? I give Snowden a big attaboy for his disclosure of NSA criminal activity, no matter what his reasons were. It is time that Americans stand up for liberty and freedom, or there will be chaos to follow. If the feds are out of line, they need to be prosecuted. Make an example of them.

I don’t think we’ll ever reach a consensus on this one. But it’s still more interesting to talk about than whether the next iPhone will come with a gold cover.

In “See you, Steve: 5 could-be, would-be Ballmers to consider,” I suggested a few possible candidates for replacing The Mad Ballmer as el jefe at Microsoft, then opened the floor for nominees to the Cringe faithful.

I got one vote for Scott Forstall, the senior VP who was unceremoniously booted from Apple Inc. last October. That suggestion came from a “M. W.” using a .me email address. (Scott, was that really you? Come on, fess up.)

Other nominees include Donald Trump, Forrest Gump, Stephen Elop, and Dr. Fronkensteen. “Curmudgeon in training” M. V. suggests our old pal Darl McBride, ex-CEO of SCO. Why?

He’d refocus all their resources into suing companies for infringing on Microsoft and Unix patents. What? Microsoft doesn’t have any Unix patents? Neither did SCO. That didn’t stop the crazy.

Meanwhile, U.K.-based developer M. R. has a capital suggestion:

It’s got to be Tony Stark!

Iron Man never suffered a “Black Tuesday”-style patching incident, and I would love to have some sort of Windows-Jarvis hybrid greeting me with mildly veiled contempt every time my project fails to build!

I dunno, I always thought Ballmer was much more like the Incredible Hulk. Maybe it’s just the green complexion.

In a follow-up post (“Ballmer 2.0: We can rebuild him“), I sought suggestions for what the Steve You Can’t Believe should do for a second career. Longtime resident of Cringeville W. S. A-A. (yes, those really are his initials) had this to say:

I figure Ballmer would do best as an adviser to up-and-coming organic dog food startups, where he could advise them to eat their own dog food and ignore the wishes of the customers.

Arf! And, inevitably, barf!

In “Hint to HTC: Iron Man alone won’t save your company,” I wrote about HTC’s attempt to stave off the inevitable by hiring Robert J. Downey as pitchman, then launching the “Here’s to Change” campaign around creating a new meaning for the acronym “HTC.” I also used this as an excuse to complain bitterly about what a lemon my HTC Windows 8X phone was. (Now since replaced by a Nokia Lumia 920 — wish me luck.)

I asked: What does HTC mean to you?

Yet another M. W. suggested “Holy Toledo Catwoman,” though unlike the rest of the Internet, he declined to share his thoughts about Ben Affleck as the new Batman. Other nominees include How to Crash, Hail the Clowns, Hopelessly Throwing Cash (at the problem), and Heck That’s Crap.

G. D. writes, in nearly NSFW fashion:

Your HTC device sounds like Having the Clap is a decent analogy. Every time it goes, it hurts.

So that burning sensation in my pocket was just my phone endlessly rebooting. Whew — what a relief.

What would you like me to bring you back from Berlin? Post your Teutonic desires below (keep it clean, please) or email me: cringe@infoworld.com.

This article, “Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer … and Tony Stark? Welcome to Microsoft’s CEO search,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely’s Notes from the Field blog, follow Cringely on Twitter, and subscribe to Cringely’s Notes from the Underground newsletter.