It's tough to manage an employee whose personal goals are unrealistic, but it's even harder when style rather than substance limits those aspirations Dear Bob …I take my responsibilities as a leader seriously, even though I’m only in middle management. To me, one of the most important is helping my employees develop and grow so that they can achieve their personal goals and not just my operational ones.[ Also on InfoWorld: “When assessing employees, measurement and personal acquaintance aren’t enough” | Get sage advice on IT careers and management from Bob Lewis in InfoWorld’s Advice Line newsletter. ] Which brings me to “Bert” (not his real name). Bert is in his late twenties. He’s smart. He shows initiative. For someone as young as he is, his business judgment is pretty good and getting better. He knows how to learn. He wants to reach executive management.And … he’s a Gomer.I don’t know how else to describe him — it’s like having Gomer Pyle reporting to me. His personal style and manner are about as far from being executive as you could imagine. His co-workers like him well enough — they provide the kinds of support you want teammates to give each other — but I also see them snickering at him behind his back. I can understand it, even though I do my best to discourage it.So: How do I break it to Bert that executive management isn’t in his future, and why?– In an awkward spot Dear Awkward …I don’t know of many coaching situations more difficult than matters of personal style. Beauty and all other aspects of aesthetics are in the eye of the beholder; human resources theory and practice makes it official that only performance should matter, and yet we all know better. Haircut, clothing, height, a firm, dry handshake and a pleasant voice matter, whether they ought to or not.My advice: Be honest, recognizing the difference between honesty and full disclosure. Point out a few visible executives who have a strong executive presence and suggest he take note of how they come across. Let him know that the intangibles matter, and right now his intangibles don’t say “up-and-coming executive” to the casual observer. And suggest he find some resources who can help him develop a more executive presentation. There are such people in the world, and while some are better than others (which is to say some are pretty much useless), the good ones can help him learn to de-Gomerize himself.He might surprise you. Smart people can learn all sorts of things if they decide it’s important to them.– Bob This story, “Managing an employee who is not ‘executive material’,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Technology Industry