Fitting in vs. sticking out — a newbie’s choice, the team’s role

Dear Bob …

We have a new team member. Maybe I should say “team” member because our latest addition isn’t fitting in very well and doesn’t seem to have any interest in getting acquainted, either.

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For the most part, I could chalk it up to just being different. The new guy is from Brooklyn and fits the stereotype. He’s loud and assertive, he interrupts a lot, and he doesn’t seem to have much interest in what anyone else has to say about a subject.

When I confront him about it, he says this is just how New Yorkers are, and it’s just as valid as our Midwestern way of doing things (which includes waiting to find out what someone has to say before arguing that it’s wrong).

I’m hesitant to come down too hard on a newbie. On the other hand, he’s building up animosity against him, a little more every day, and I’m concerned that this could end up doing serious damage to what had been an effective team.

Any advice?

– Mediating

Dear Mediating …

I don’t know about coming down hard. I do know that it’s hard to know the difference between small problems that take care of themselves if you let them and those that grow exponentially if not dealt with. I think you have some of each.

Here’s what I’d suggest: Instead of policing Brooklyn’s behavior, be clear about what matters and leave it to him to figure out the details.

In a team environment, what matters is trust and alignment — having the rest of the team know they can rely on the new guy. Let Brooklyn know that as its newest member, it’s up to him to become part of the team just as much as it’s the team’s responsibility to welcome him in.

Make it clear that this doesn’t mean joining the Borg and losing all personal idiosyncrasies. It does mean understanding how people are accustomed to dealing with each other and adapting to it.

If there are other ways of doing things he thinks are better, that’s fine, and he’s welcome to introduce them — so long as he understands that if he introduces them as an outsider the team will almost certainly ignore what he has to say. Whether it’s right or not, that’s how teams tend to deal with outsiders who are such know-it-alls that they know better than the team how the team should go about its business.

Oh, and while you’re going about all of this, drop a hint to the team that everyone should think hard about differences that matter vs. differences for the sake of being different.

– Bob

This story, “Fitting in vs. sticking out — a newbie’s choice, the team’s role,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Read more of Bob Lewis’s Advice Line blog on InfoWorld.com. For the latest business technology news, follow InfoWorld.com on Twitter.