How to handle a backhanded compliment at work

Dear Bob …

Just a few months ago, I started as a desktop support person as part of a service company. The organization I support is pretty small, and I’m one of only three people dedicated full time to the contract. There’s also a middle-management person who handles our contract and several others.

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I appear to have made a good impression with the client and have received compliments on my abilities, timeliness, and so forth. The problem is, it seems this is a new development. It has become increasingly clear to me since I started that everyone else on my team is held in profound contempt. An example from last week: “You’re a really good tech — the other folks and I are always talking about how great the quality of your work is. How did you end up working with such a bunch of idiots?”

Obviously, it’s nice to be held in high regard and have your work appreciated, but I’m sensible enough to realize that this is not exactly an ideal situation. It’s likely to become problematic in the future. It’s probably already problematic in certain ways — how am I supposed to answer a question like the one I got? My response at the time was, “A guy’s got to work for a living.” I know that’s not the best response I could have come up with, but I was really caught off-balance.

Their complaints are, by the way, largely valid, and I’ve had concerns of my own.

My primary concern is in being aware of potential pitfalls in my situation and having an idea how to handle them. One I’ve already thought of is that my company might lose the contract, but I feel fairly comfortable that if that happens, the client will “talk me up” enough to the new contractor for them to bring me on board.

Any thoughts or suggestions you have regarding that and anything else would be appreciated.

– Praised and Concerned

Dear Praised and Concerned …

You’re right to be concerned. This sort of praise is a land mine, waiting to explode.

Be very careful to avoid validating your clients’ complaints about your colleagues. If you don’t feel comfortable defending their abilities, say something like, “I haven’t worked with them enough to have been able to form an opinion.” The moment you say anything that sounds like you’re agreeing, it’s likely to be held against you by your firm’s account manager, who is responsible for preserving the company’s image and relationship with the client.

This brings up the question of whether you should inform your account manager of the issue. I’d say no, until you’ve formed a strong enough working relationship that you’re confident he/she will be receptive to you instead of considering you to be someone who is arrogant and overstepping boundaries.

What you can safely do, though, is thank whoever it is for the compliment and add, half-kidding, “Of course you realize that while I very much appreciate any and all compliments, I appreciate it even more when someone tells my boss the same thing!”

Who knows — they might just do that. If they do, somewhere in that conversation, they’ll likely draw the appropriate contrast between you and your coworkers. Your manager will get the message and your hands will be entirely clean.

That’s what I call a win/win. As for your colleagues, it would be a win/win/win if they deserved it. It appears they don’t, so don’t worry about it. You aren’t backstabbing them and don’t owe them the effort you’d have to go through to insulate them from their own incompetence.

– Bob

This story, “How to handle a backhanded compliment at work,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Read more of Bob Lewis’s Advice Line blog on InfoWorld.com.