The year in tweets, trends, and tags: All you need to know about 2012

Happy Day of Twelves. To celebrate 12/12/12, Facebook, Google, and Twitter all chose to publish their Years in Review. (Apparently they all wanted to get them done before the Mayan Apocalypse kicks in.)

What kind of a year was it? Let’s compare and contrast. First up, Google.

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Google’s 2012 Zeitgeist page lists the top 10 searches in 10 categories, as well as top Google+ hashtags (No. 1: #SOPA). Worldwide, the top searches were for the late Whitney Houston, Gangnam style, and Hurricane Sandy. Dead divas, dorky disco, and disaster — that’s Google’s 2012 in a nutshell.

U.K. boy band One Direction and its lead heartthrob Harry Styles landed high in three lists (images, people, and performing artists). If those guys had made a movie or operated an airline, they probably would have made those lists too, thus proving that, like Tumblr, Google is secretly (?) run by 13-year-old girls.

Four of the top 10 consumer electronics searches were for Android-based products, three were for Apple, and two were for Microsoft. Tim Cook is probably grinding his teeth over that in Cupertino, but I’ll bet Steve Ballmer is buying drinks for the house.

Oddly, the two top trending TV shows, and four of the top ten, hail from Brazil. If not for Honey Boo Boo and “Game of Thrones,” there might have been more. (I blame Orkut.)

How about Facebook? Here, “Duck Dynasty” landed as the trendiest TV show, followed by the inevitable “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” and “The Big Bang Theory” — in short, birds, turds, and nerds. “The Hunger Games” was the top movie, and Barack Obama and Mitt Romney edged out One Direction for most talked-about people.

In technology, Instagram far outstripped any other topic (I suspect Facebook’s $1 billion purchase of the inexplicably popular mobile app might have contributed to that). Number two was Facebook’s own Timeline (ditto), followed by Pinterest. Apple’s iPhone (No. 5) and SOPA (No. 7) also made the list.

The top event, according to Facebook, was the U.S. presidential election. Also in there were the Aurora shootings, the Olympics, Superstorm Sandy, the Super Bowl, and Facebook’s IPO. Basically, the list alternated between epic events and tragic ones.

The social network also added a nice personal touch: a personalized timeline that picks out “your 20 biggest moments from the year,” though it’s a mystery how Facebook decides these things. It turns out my biggest moments were grooming Apache and skipping through commercials on my TiVo — such a rich, rewarding life I lead.

For my money, Twitter’s year in review was the most interesting of the three. The most popular tweet was a photo sent out by the Obama team after the president’s re-election, followed by one from Justin Bieber (see 13-year-old girls, above).

In Twitter’s Pulse of the Planet section, we learn that six-time Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt generated 80,000 tweets per minute (TPM), but he finished a distant second to the Spice Girls reunion during the closing ceremonies, who clocked in with 116,000 TPM.

Instead of pure popularity, Twitter also measured “noteworthy spikes in Twitter conversations,” giving the microblog complete leeway over what to include. For example, AT&T was at the top of Twitter’s tech list, followed by the iPhone and Instagram. (Apple took three of the top 10 spots; Google, Microsoft, and Facebook were shut out.) The top three TV shows on Twitter were “Family Guy,” “Big Brother 14,” and “American Dad.” The top restaurants? IHOP, Starbucks, and Waffle House. Sounds like Twitter fans need to seriously start watching their carbs.

My favorite: The Only on Twitter section, which showcased unusual ways people chose to use the microblog. This year, director James Cameron sent a tweet from nearly 36,000 feet below sea level, while climber Nobukazu Kuriki tweeted from Everest, nearly 30,000 feet above. Astronaut Sunita Williams shared photos of Hurricane Sandy from the International Space Station, and NASCAR driver Brad Keselowski tweeted at speeds approaching 200mph (kids, don’t try this at home). The National Zoo even tweeted the artificial insemination of Mei Xiang, a 13-year-old giant panda.

What grand conclusion can we draw from all of this? That the Internet is really run by 13-year-olds. Whether they’re girls or pandas, though, is still unclear.

What do you think was this year’s biggest Internet thingie? Post your thoughts below or email me: cringe@infoworld.com.

This article, “The year in tweets, trends, and tags: All you need to know about 2012,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely’s Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely’s Notes from the Underground newsletter.