Tired of the iPad already? Try these vaporware alternatives

Thankfully, as of tomorrow I won’t have to read more nauseating stories about the fact the Apple iPad will be shipping soon, that it will reinvent the media industry, and that it will change the course of human destiny forever. Instead, we’ll finally have a real product to evaluate and can start to talk rationally about Apple’s invention.

Yes, I know that by Monday the Gizmodos, Engadgets, Cnets, and PC Worlds will be back to running more irresponsible rumors disguised as news on the supposed next version of the iPad; they’ve already started up again on the iPhone. Sure to surface again will be reports and “reviews” of the iPad-killers allegedly coming down the pipe. We saw a brief flurry of such stories after the iPad was announced, but the noise around the iPad managed to drown them out. Still, they’ll be back.

So let me get that ball rolling on these supposed iPad-killers. Of course, since we don’t have a handle yet on what the iPad excels at and fails at, there’s no way to know for sure how these will stack up or if they’re even really competitors. So consider this a hype-versus-hype myth-buster comparison to figure out how to assess these devices, should they ever ship. And just as I said anyone who pre-ordered an iPad was a fool for buying a product they couldn’t possibly know if it met their needs, anyone who pre-orders any of these other devices is a fool for the same reason.

HP’s Slate

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer demoed the HP Slate — a Windows-based tablet that isn’t the standard (failed) pen-based Windows tablet PC but a media player à la the iPad — at the Consumer Electronics Show in January, and Hewlett-Packard has posted some superficial videos since to help seed the rumor sites. Below is the HP video from its Voodoo blog (the group at HP that does the cool gamer PCs) showing off the slate. (If you can’t see the video below, go to this page.)

Keeping in mind that the HP Slate remains vaporware at this point, its primary claim to fame is that it runs Flash videos, which we all know that the iPad and iPhone don’t and likely never will. That’s very useful to see the videos at many Websites over Wi-Fi connections, as well as to watch training videos and the like offline, so if you’re looking for a portable Web viewer, the HP Slate could be interesting. (It’s also a Web browser, of course.)

But can the HP Slate do anything else? That’s not so clear. It’s Windows 7-based, so is it also a PC? HP isn’t saying so far, which makes me think not. Even if it were a Windows 7 PC, that could be a bad thing: The touch UI in Windows 7 is not very good, and most apps aren’t designed to use it effectively, so running regular Windows apps on the HP Slate would likely be a tearful experience.

Fusion Garage’s JooJoo

Michael Arrington, that crazy TechCrunch blogger and producer of the inane TechCrunch startups conference, ran an online soap opera about the development of this tablet for much of 2009. He and his tech partner parted ways, and what had been called the CrunchPad became the JooJoo. It allegedly began shipping this week, though none of the gadget sites have reviewed it, so I’m skeptical. Plus, Fusion Garage accepts payment only via PayPal — not a good sign that there’s a real company behind the JooJoo.

What it purports to do is be a portable Web browser for use over Wi-Fi connections — that’s it. For the same $499 price as a basic iPad, you get a slate that boots into a browser from which you can surf the Web and view Flash videos on Web pages, as well as for Web-based videoconferencing. That’s it — a one-trick pony.

Dell’s Mini 5

Also shown in concept form at CES, the Dell Mini 5 is an Android-based slate that’s bigger than iPod Touch and smaller than an iPad, meant primarily for Web surfing and video watching. Dell gave reporters a very brief sneak peek at the device and its 5-inch screen, and there’s almost no information on specs or even how real this device is. Allegedly, Michael Dell himself showed the device at another conference and was “caught on tape” by TechCrunch doing so (you can see the video below; if you can’t see the video below, go to this page). I’m skeptical this wasn’t either a planned tease or a fictional encounter.

I’m not convinced the product will ever ship, but there’s a chance, given Dell’s interest in dabbling again with mobile devices, this time using the Android OS rather than Windows Mobile.

Lenovo’s IdeaPad U1 This is the oddest, but in some ways most compelling, nonexistent tablet to consider. Lenovo has formally announced it will ship the U1 in summer 2010, so it will be a real product at some point. It’s a Windows 7 notebook whose LCD screen is detachable. When detached, the LCD screen works as a stand-alone Web slate, letting you access the Web over a 3G cellular connection using a Linux-derived OS and a touch-based UI. It’s not clear what will run in theWeb slate’s browser, such as Flash or other video services. Assuming you could watch Netflix or Hulu videos on the Web slate, the U1 could make for a nice travel computer, where you don’t have to have the whole computer with you in the hotel when watching your shows (laptops do tend to overheat when set on the bed’s blankets) at the end of the day.

And when you have real work to do, the U1 should be able to do that too — the same can’t be said (so far) about any of the other iPad-killers, not even about the iPad itself.

Sizing up the iPad-killers So there you have it: The current gallery of potential iPad-killers. Of course, as has been the case with the endless onslaught of hapless iPhone-killers, chances are none will have any affect on the iPad’s success (or lack thereof, as the case may be). The HP Slate and the Lenovo IdeaPad U1 are both interesting, at least conceptually, though the HP Slate’s basis in Windows 7 could be a double-edge sword. As for the JooJoo, given its history and pedigree, I’d stay far far away. That leaves the Dell Mini 5, which seems more like a trial balloon than a serious product.

Of course, there are allegedly a bunch more of these iPad-killers waiting in the wings. Right after Apple’s iPad announcement on Jan. 27, several Chinese companies claimed that Apple’s iPad trampled on their inventions, and several more said they too had iPad-like devices in the wings. Yeah, right.

Then there’s a gaggle of promised Google-based tablets and slates. These are plausible, given Android’s open source nature. But that open source nature means anyone can cobble together a product. Many will do just that, with disastrous results. The Android factor is a wild card best left for someone else to bet on. If Dell, HTC, or anyone else actually develops a competent Android-based tablet, then it’s time to pay attention there.

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