Steve Ballmer: Have you seen this man?

Microsoft opened the kimono and gave us all a nice long flash of Windows 8 yesterday at its Build conference in Anaheim. Amid all the over-the-top hype and raging speculation one key element was missing: the sweaty bald guy at the top.

This Win8 dog and pony event was run by Steve Sinofsky, president of Windows and Windows Live, who also handled the Windows 7 launch. At that point, Microsoft’s CEO was nowhere to be seen.

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Build is after all a Microsoft developers conference. Where’s the bombast, the bluster, the buckets of perspiration? Where, for the sake of all that is holy, is the Monkey Boy Dance?

Ballmer has been keeping a decidedly low profile for the unveil of Windows 8, and that’s probably a good thing. He was all over the launch of Vista back in 2006, and we all know how that went.

In fact, it’s been months since we’ve heard a peep out of the Mad Ballmer. I can’t remember the last time he made some outrageous statement about how Google isn’t a real company or the iPad is just another PC or that Linux causes herpes. It’s been forever since the man has thrown a chair in anger.

Sorry, that’s not entirely accurate. Last week he appeared on stage at the launch of Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012. As far as we know, no furniture was harmed in the making of that presentation.

Ballmer is scheduled to deliver a keynote at Build this afternoon, followed by a meeting with Wall Street analysts, so maybe this will all change. Maybe Steve will drop a few bombshells or diss a competitor or make some impossible claim about how Windows 8 not only boots up seven seconds before you press the On button but also cures cancer. But I’m not betting on it.

Microsoft is still amazingly profitable and has more money than God. But what it lacks is vision. The Visionary in Waiting, Ray Ozzie, got tired of waiting for Ballmer to relinquish his throne and bailed out of the company almost exactly one year ago. If Microsoft has a plan B, it’s been doing a remarkable job of keeping that a secret. 

Over the last few months we’ve seen a remarkable changing of the guard at the top of the tech world. Apple’s Steve Jobs stepped down; Eric Schmidt gave way to Larry Page at Google; Carol Bartz got kicked to the curb at Yahoo. But Ballmer soldiers on.

Personally, I’m not convinced that “Hey Windows 8 supports touch input and aren’t these live tiles something?” is going to be enough to pull the Redmondites out of their innovation rut. If Microsoft wants to be a player in this brave new post-PC world, they need a new man or woman at the top. I’m betting that will happen sooner rather than later.

Who should succeed Ballmer at Microsoft? Nominate your candidates below or email me: cringe@infoworld.com.

This article, “Steve Ballmer: Have you seen this man?,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely’s Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely’s Notes from the Underground newsletter.