Why Ubuntu (Still) Sucks – Part 5: Epilogue

“Lay my head on the surgeon’s table/Take my fingerprints if you are able … Pore over everything in my CV/But you’ll still know nothing ‘bout me.”

You’ve got to give Mr. Gordon Sumner (a.k.a. “Sting”) credit: He’s quite the lyricist. I decided to quote this particular song since it’s one of my favorites and since it also effectively captures the theme of this, my final entry in the series on “Why Ubuntu (Still) Sucks.” The irony is that, like those trying to assail the character in the song, few, if any, of you have figured out just what’s going on here.

To the casual reader, this series looks like just another diatribe by a rabid Windows “fan boi” (although, even by “fan boi” standards, this one’s a bit over the top). However, those who know me from my 20+ years in the industry are already laughing their collective rear-ends off. That’s because they’ve seen it all before, and they’re smart enough not to get lured into what is clearly another of RCK’s literary experiments.

You see, a few weeks back I posted a decidedly less antagonistic series of missives about the departure of Mr. Con Kolivas from the Linux kernel development scene. And while I expected to take at least *some* heat for daring to comment on such an intimate Linux political issue, I was genuinely shocked by the level of vitriol emanating from the various respondents. The majority of the comments were best characterized as ad hominem attacks, while at least one individual felt it necessary to express his outrage by slinging racial epithets.

Note: I am not, and never have been, an African-American law professor from Harvard.

After the dust settled, I realized that I had totally misjudged the Linux community. When I started out, I honestly bought into all the hype about “sharing knowledge” and “working together.” I was certain that my concerns about Mr. Kolivas’ departure would be met with intelligent discourse and perhaps even a well conceived rebuttal or two. Instead, I got a glimpse of the *real* face of the Linux community, the immature, mom’s basement-dwelling, pimple-faced geek side that the Red Hats, Novells and Canonicals of this world don’t want you to see.

So I decided to do what any good journalist would do: Expose the lie. And though this particular conspiracy paled in comparison to the complete lack of WMD in Iraq (oh, that’s right, they smuggled them into Syria…uh-huh…sure), I was still determined to see the matter through.

But how to proceed? Clearly, engaging this community on an intellectual level was pointless. No, to really “bring out the Linux beast” I would need to show the temerity, the audacity, the outright stupidity to actually criticize one of their sacred cow distributions. And not in the nice, “fair and balanced” way of a professional journalist, but rather in the over-the-top, zealous, “in your face” way that so many Linux “fan bois” had demonstrated to me.

Hence, this series on “Why Ubuntu (Still) Sucks.” And while I take no pride in my methods (I actually *like* Ubuntu and plan to install Gutsy x64 onto several of my production workstations this weekend), I do take some measure of satisfaction in the outcome: Here, for the whole world to see, is the face of the Linux community – every “f-this” and “n-word” that preserved for all eternity in the digital ether of cyberspace.

Take a good look in the mirror, “bois!” Now grow-up, move out of your parents’ house and start building the kind of considerate, respectable (dare I say “mature?”) community that your revered distribution is supposed to represent. Go spread some “Ubuntu.”

So, I hear Apple’s got a new version of OS X coming out…hmmmm… 🙂