Now that Yahoo owns Tumblr, where will all the cool kids hang out?

It’s official: Yahoo is acquiring the Tumblr blogging platform for a scosh more than $1 billion. Tumblr, meet Stumblr.

Of course, Tumblr is more than just a blogging platform. It’s a way of life for members of the Internet set who weren’t yet born when Yahoo emerged from Jerry Yang and David Filo’s list of bookmarks in 1994.

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And though Tumblr boasts more than 100 million users, Yahoo isn’t buying it just to boost its visitor numbers; that would be like Russia annexing Mongolia for its snow. No, Yahoo is buying it for its cachet — its coolness. Because Marissa has to do something to appeal to the SpongeBob generation and like with a lot of aging companies it’s easier and cheaper to buy youthful exuberance than to re-create it.

Despite Marissa’s promises to “not screw up” Tumblr the way Yahoo has screwed up virtually every other major Internet property it has acquired, this purchase does not sit at all well with the Tumblratti. I asked my resident Tumblr expert, a 14-year-old of my acquaintance. Can I ask you a question about Tumblr? I started. She was way ahead of me.

“You mean about being bought by Yahoo?” She made a I-just-threw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little face. “I think I will delete my account.”

Why?

“Because it will go to #*-!” and used a word 14-year-olds were not allowed to utter in front of adults in my day. Then she paused briefly and reconsidered. “It might be a good thing. Tumbler is full of whiny teenage girls. They’ll all leave.”

Scan Tumblr for any mention of Yahoo, and you’ll find similar reactions — not entirely from whiny teenagers, but mostly. Like this possibly ironic one:

I’m sad so now i’m going to watch supernatural and hope that yahoo buying tumblr was just a really bad dream.

Others responded in GIFs, naturally. And not everyone was running for the exits. Tumblr user LosingLuckyNumbers wrote:

I refuse to see this as the end of the world, although I’m certainly not a fan of Yahoo, which has so far been the Comic Sans of Internet companies.

A font takedown — oh snap! She goes on, reasonably:

Tumblr folk are amazing at overreacting, I know, but before announcing this as the end of Tumblr and threatening to delete our blogs, let’s see what will actually happen. Maybe better funding means our way of life is protected? Maybe David [Karp] won’t let anyone destroy his baby? (Have some faith in the guy.) Maybe this really isn’t the end of all things awesome? We’ll see, but it would be a terrible business call from Yahoo to radically mess with Tumblr — and remember, the same people that destroyed GeoCities and others aren’t running things anymore.

I’m not saying this couldn’t end in a disaster, I’m just sayin this isn’t automatically a disaster.

There is, of course, that other problem — the 800-pound gorilla in the room, which also happens to be naked. Like virtually every other free service, Tumblr is a hive for adult sites (or so I’ve heard). The NSFW tag has oozed across Tumblr like butter on a hot skillet. And Yahoo’s terms of service prohibit posting anything considered vulgar or obscene, as well as any copyrighted material. Even if Yahoo makes good on its vow to run Tumblr as a separate entity, something will eventually have to give. ZDnet’s Violet Blue predicts:

Many are speculating as to what Yahoo is going to do with Tumblr’s currently successful, user-retaining NSFW content policy.

But if Flickr’s rep with poorly policing “art nudes” is any hint of Tumblr’s fate, then we’re likely to see lots of once-happy users forced into confusing self-rating protocols, having their accounts banned and years of content deleted with no recourse, and a new content policy practically written by trolls who want the easiest path to shut down people they don’t like.

As AllThingD’s Peter Kafka points out, adult content isn’t a money maker for Tumblr, so any value it has is more symbolic. In other words, will the post-Yahoo Tumblr still be an anything-goes culture-defining blog platform or will it be forced to cut its hair, clip on a tie, and get a boring corporate job?

Tumblr’s 26-year-old founder, the now quite rich David Karp, tried to reassure his teenage faithful:

We’re not turning purple. Our headquarters isn’t moving. Our team isn’t changing. Our road map isn’t changing. And our mission — to empower creators to make their best work and get it in front of the audience they deserve — certainly isn’t changing….

Yahoo is the original Internet company, and Marissa and her team share our dream to make the Internet the ultimate creative canvas. I couldn’t be more excited to have her help. We also share a vision for Tumblr’s business that doesn’t compromise the community and product we love. Plus both our logos end with punctuation!

Marissa is making a big bet that Yahoo can redefine itself through this acquisition, that as it approaches its 20th birthday next year it can remain relevant to people who barely know who Zuckerberg is, let alone Yang or Filo. And if it can’t? Well, yet another CEO may soon receive a key to Yahoo’s executive washroom and get a chance to redesign the home page.

Will Yahoo’s acquisition of Tumblr change what you think about either company? Share your thoughts below or email me: cringe@infoworld.com.

This article, “Now that Yahoo owns Tumblr, where will all the cool kids hang out?,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely’s Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely’s Notes from the Underground newsletter.