Apple’s Cook: Use Google, Bing, Nokia — anything but Apple Maps

Mapocalypse — or Mapplegate, if you prefer — is the gift that keeps on giving. And it shows no signs of letting up.

Today CEO Tim Cook took the rather unusual step of issuing a public mea culpa via the Apple.com home page and suggesting that, until Apple gets its mapping act together, iFans should use competing products from Bing, MapQuest, Google, or Nokia.

[ Want to cash in on your IT experiences? InfoWorld is looking for stories of an amazing or amusing IT adventure, lesson learned, or tales from the trenches. Send your story to offtherecord@infoworld.com. If we publish it, we’ll keep you anonymous and send you a $50 American Express gift cheque. ]

That whirring sound you hear is Steve Jobs spinning in his grave at 5,400 RPMs.

Meanwhile, bloggers and journos who lavished praise upon the original iMap app are doing some spinning of their own. The New York Times’ David Pogue must be wearing a back brace after doing a 180-degree backflip about Apple Maps. Ten days ago he called the new maps app one of iOS6’s “chief attractions.” A week later he wrote a 1,350-word piece completely eviscerating it, calling Apple Maps “the most beautiful, entertainingly addled mapping service ever.”

Meanwhile, as the Real Dan Lyons (formerly known as the Fake Steve Jobs) points out, staunch fanboys like John Gruber and MG Siegler continue to spin excuses for the Mapocalypse. Skipping right over things like the missing monuments, melting freeways, empty cities, and farms mistaken for airports, the Apple apologists focused instead on how Apple was forced to release its mapping app now because its agreement with Google was about to expire.

The other fanboy defense? Sure, Apple Maps suck, but so did Google Maps when it came out in 2005. So, like Google Maps, the iMap app will eventually get better.

That may be true. But it isn’t 2005 any more. There’s now a much more capable app available called — yes — Google Maps. If Apple really intended to put out a half-finished product and have it be improved through the hard work of its fanatical fanbase, it should have done exactly that. A year or two ago Apple should have said “Hey, we’re trying to build our own maps app — help us make it better,” released it in beta, and asked for feedback. In a year all those missing monuments would have been located, all those blank cities filled in. Pilots would not be trying to land jumbo jets in the garden of Ireland’s Minister of Justice.

How did those reviewers who were so giddy about the iPhone 5 get this so wrong? Tech.pinions blogger Steve Wildstrom admits what most of them would rather leave unsaid: Online reviews of phones and other gadgets are generally not worth the paper they’re not printed on. Why? Because of the deadline crush — and in particular Apple’s refusal to release product early to all but a lucky few.

If you’re lucky (i.e., you’re named Mossberg or Pogue), you get to put your hands on one of these maybe a week before your deadline. But more likely it’s a few hours before at best. So any “review” is really just a summary of features with photos and a few off-the cuff conclusions, accompanied by some snappy SEO-friendly headlines.

Which is exactly how companies like Apple want it to be. Why pay for PR when the blogosphere will provide it for free?

But since I’m spreading the blame here, part of the problem is also you and me — the folks who read these reviews and respond to them. The sad truth is that many bloggers are paid the equivalent of a ham sandwich and a Coke per post, plus a few pennies per page view. The more traffic their stories can generate, the more likely they’ll be able to pay their rent that month. (Fortunately, InfoWorld does not operate in this fashion, or I’d be living out of a Best Buy refrigerator box.)

So, which type of story is likely to get more readers? A sober warts-and-all assessment of the latest iPhone? Or one that declares not only is latest Jesus phone the greatest thing since sliced bread — it even slices bread! The answer is the latter. Every time.

People want to read about the latest greatest thing, and they really want it to be great. So the fault, dear readers, lies not in our reviewers but in ourselves. And also Apple.

Did you buy the iHype and/or the iPhone? Weigh in below or email me: cringe@infoworld.com.

This article, “Apple’s Cook: Use Google, Bing, Nokia — anything but Apple Maps,” was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Follow the crazy twists and turns of the tech industry with Robert X. Cringely’s Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely’s Notes from the Underground newsletter.